


Skeleton Stories (100 followers)

by alicedragons



Series: Follower Milestones and Random Drabbles [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, a shit ton of fluff, chapters tagged individually, lots of ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 15:08:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13149237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicedragons/pseuds/alicedragons
Summary: A collection of one-shots from my tumblr involving a multitude of romantic and platonic ships, with a disproportional amount of Spicyhoney.Mostly fluff, but please heed the chapter warnings. These aren't all happy.





	1. Notes and Things

**Author's Note:**

> I would call this my drabble series, but none of these are really drabbles. Maybe one day I'll succeed in writing something under 1000 words!

Hey everyone! This is just going to be a series of one-shots and ~~drabbles~~. I'm going to start by posting the ones I've already completed over on my tumblr, but I'll be adding more in the future!

 

A HUGE thank you to everyone from tumblr (or here!) who has given me so much support throughout my writing struggles. Your comments and love are what keep me motivated to do things like this!

**Note: I might consider doing more requests in the future, but at the moment, I have a lot of other projects I'm working on, so I won't have enough time to write any extra ones.**

 

Thanks everyone! From here it's going to be skeleton fluff, angst, and a LOT of sexual tension. I hope you enjoy!

 


	2. Eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cheapbourbon asked: "Oh man oh man once again congrats on the milestone!!! ^^ is like to submit 29. “Who hurt you? Tell me who it was.” Or 49. “Is that a knife in your pocket, or are you just happy to see—oh shit, it’s a knife.” For Spicyhoney please. ^^ I can't pick between the two so I'm leaving it up to you!"
> 
> If, by some insane chance, you haven't seen cheapbourbon's wonderful art on tumblr, I highly recommend you go check them out! Seriously, if you love Spicyhoney (or even just damn good art), their stuff is definitely for you. It's absolutely stunning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Spicyhoney (UF Papyrus/US Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: Vampire AU, fluff, mild angst
> 
> Warnings: None

It was times like these that Stretch really appreciated the night. From the clifftop he was perched on, he could feel it all. The cool wind on his bones, the smell of the sea in the air, the clear sky expanding infinitely around him—they were all things that allowed him to feel that perhaps living forever wasn’t the worst fate in the world.

He smiled at the sound of footsteps approaching behind him, turning slowly and rising to his feet. As Edge emerged from the dark trees, Stretch’s grin widened, and he cocked his head inquisitively. “is that a knife in your pocket, or are you just happy to see—oh shit, it’s a knife.”

Edge rolled his eyes, approaching with caution as he extracted the silver blade. His posture was rigid, and his eyes alert as he regarded Stretch. “How long since you last fed?” he asked. The question was routine, but Stretch only laughed, strolling languidly towards Edge, who raised the knife a little in warning. But he made no move to stop Stretch as he placed his hands on Edge’s shoulders, grinning at him.

“it’s been weeks. i’m practically ravenous. the smell of you is driving me insane—in fact, i’m not sure if i’ll be able to stop myself from ripping your delicious throat open and—”

“Ugh.” Edge shoved him away, and Stretch chuckled. “You shouldn’t joke about it, you know,” he said, sliding the knife back into his pocket. “I can never tell if you’re really—”

Stretch silenced him with a light press of teeth to his cheekbone. He’d always enjoyed seeing the way Edge blushed at even the smallest displays of affection. “for someone so young, you have an awful sense of humour,” he murmured, as he slowly drew away. “besides, someone as delectable as you is wasted as food,” he added, with a grin. Edge flushed deeper, and mumbled something under his breath, but didn’t protest as Stretch slowly wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. “i’ve missed you, you know,” he whispered, lightly touching his teeth to Edge’s cheek. “we should really do this more often.”

Edge was stiff for only a moment before returning the gesture, his hands sliding gently over Stretch’s spine. “I wish that were possible,” he said, quietly, and Stretch could sense the hint of sorrow in his tone.

Not wanting the mood to be dampened, he pulled away slowly, meeting Edge with a warm smile. “how about we just enjoy the time that we have, hm?”

Edge smirked, scoffing slightly. “A rich statement coming from someone with all the time in the world.”

Stretch grinned as he took his hand, guiding him towards the cliff’s edge. “but the only time worthwhile, is the time i spend with you.” Stretch knew that Edge could likely hear the underlying heaviness to his statement, but he had the decency to blush nonetheless.

Stretch grinned as they approached the precipice, the sea churning violently below, and the early signs of a storm on the horizon. In the distance, dark clouds were forming, and Stretch could smell the imminent rain in the air. “Why did you want to meet here?” Edge asked, slowly lowering himself to sit with his legs hanging over the cliff’s drop. “It’s a bit… open, isn’t it? What if someone sees?”

Stretch smiled as he sat down beside Edge, hearing the quiet, but sharp intake of breath from the other skeleton as he linked their hands together. “you worry too much,” he said, shuffling closer to Edge so that their shoulders brushed together. “i like this place. i hardly ever get to be out in the open.” He gazed up at the stars for a moment, taking a deep breath of the fresh ocean air. “i hate being cooped up in that tiny house all day—it really cramps my style.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Stretch could see the small frown on Edge’s features. “One would’ve thought that after so many years on this earth, you would have grown tired of making ridiculous puns.”

Stretch snickered, resting his head on Edge’s shoulder. For a moment, the other monster went rigid, as if surprised by the sudden contact. But slowly, his posture relaxed, and Stretch could have sworn he felt Edge leaning against him slightly. “growing tired of puns would be like growing tired of you,” he murmured, letting his eyes fall closed, focusing on nothing but the sound of Edge’s deep breaths and the warm feeling of his body—so close to Stretch’s own.

He heard Edge make a small noise of embarrassment, and smiled to himself at the mental image of Edge’s crimson blush. “I can’t believe you just compared me to puns,” he grumbled, and Stretch grinned. Still seeming flustered, Edge cleared his throat. “W-well, why did you want to come here of all places? There are plenty of ‘open’ locations that aren’t four hours away from where I live.” Stretch could hear the hint of disapproval in Edge’s tone at being dragged out in the middle of the night, and he chuckled quietly.

“i like the sea,” he replied, eyes still closed as he nuzzled deeper into the nape of Edge’s neck. “it’s wild, untamed, unpredictable…” He glanced up at Edge, smirking. Judging by the deepening blush on Edge’s cheekbones, the metaphor wasn’t lost on him.

They were both silent for a time, the crashing waves and gently howling breeze the only sounds breaking the peaceful quiet of the night. Stretch pressed himself a little closer to Edge, revelling in the scent of him. While Stretch couldn’t deny that most mortal monsters often smelled particularly enticing, Edge was something different. It was almost intoxicating, and appealed to more than just Stretch’s appetite. Lightly touching his teeth to Edge’s cheekbone, he whispered, “you know, my offer still stands.”

Edge remained silent, though Stretch could sense the sudden tension seeping into his bones. Eventually, he gave a deep sigh, squeezing Stretch’s hand slightly. “Stretch, you know I don’t—I mean… I love you, but that life… I just don’t know if I could—”

“i know,” Stretch said, quickly, hearing the hint of distress in Edge’s tone. “it’s just… if i had to spend an eternity with anyone…” He drifted off, turning to gaze at the sea. He felt guilty suddenly, for breaking their perfect moment. He knew Edge was likely to continue turning him down—after all, it was difficult for someone who had spent their entire life hunting Stretch’s kind to make such a huge commitment—but still, Stretch couldn’t deny that Edge’s constant rejection stung his soul a little.

He rested his head on Edge’s shoulder once more, turning to press his teeth against the vertebrae of his neck. He felt Edge flinch slightly as Stretch’s sharp canines scraped gently against the bone. “i love you,” Stretch whispered, “and i want you to know that i’ll always love you—no matter what you choose. and i promise, i’ll never take that choice away from you.”

Edge turned, and Stretch could see the beginnings of tears burning at his eye sockets. Cupping his face gently, Stretch pressed their teeth together in a soft, chaste kiss. Sometimes their love was violent, complicated, and unpredictable. After all, they were from two very different worlds, and nothing could change the complications that came with that.

But at times like these—when the whole world seemed silent, as if they were the only two people in it—their love was peaceful. It was by no means simple, but it ran deeper than anything Stretch had ever felt. And whether it lasted forever or not didn’t matter, because for now, it was enough.


	3. Low Tolerance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sesurescue asked: "15, UF!Pap/SF!Sans?"
> 
> Prompt: "Who do I have to sleep with to get a drink right now?... No, not you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Edgelord Supreme (UF Papyrus/SF Sans)
> 
> Tags: Humour, flirting, alcohol, mildly suggestive
> 
> Warnings: Razz is an asshole and Edge is a tease.

Razz scowled irritably, straightening his jacket as he tapped his fingers impatiently against the bar. His feet dangled above the floor where he was seated; this establishment had clearly not been designed with those of lesser height in mind. While he’d heard good things about the hotel, its reputation in his books was declining by the minute. The longer he was forced to wait for the incompetent bartender to come over to him, the thinner his patience wore.

Across the bar, he caught sight of another monster, smirking at him. He was surprised upon realising it was a skeleton monster, though he quickly feigned disinterest, rolling his eyes and turning back to the bartender, who was busy tending to another customer. Razz grit his teeth, suppressing a growl. Perhaps the staff here had been trained to ignore patrons of his… stature, simply to complete the entire discriminatory vibe he was experiencing. He cleared his throat, giving an irritated flick of his hand. “Excuse me!” he called, not bothering to keep his tone polite.

The bartender turned, eyeing him for a moment, before coolly saying, “I’ll be with you once I have finished with this customer, sir,” and turning their back on him once again. Razz fumed silently, huffing to himself. He was more than ready to leave, but his pride was keeping him put—besides, he’d paid an awful lot of money just to get into this place.

He suddenly noticed that the other skeleton was still eyeing him—the amusement in his expression somehow increasing as Razz’s gaze flickered to him. It occurred to Razz how tall he was – likely explaining how _he_ had acquired the drink he was holding. With a scowl of contempt at the taller skeleton, Razz turned away. Outrage coursed through him as the bartender wandered over to a different customer, still callously ignoring Razz.

Hands clenched into fists on the table, he muttered a curse under his breath. “In the name of—who do I have to sleep with to get a drink right now!” Razz almost blushed upon realising how unintentionally loudly he’d spoken, but his anger currently exceeded his embarrassment. Once again, he caught the gaze of the monster across the bar, who was looking thoroughly entertained by Razz’s disgruntlement. He cocked his head questioningly, and this time Razz really did blush. Still, he put on an air of disgust, glowering at the other skeleton. “Ugh—no, not you!”

The monster chuckled quietly, taking a long sip of his drink—as if in mocking—before sliding off his stool and approaching Razz. Quickly looking away to hide his blush, Razz swallowed. He couldn’t deny, the other skeleton was impeccably dressed, and not unattractive by any standards. Still, he wasn’t feeling entirely dignified at the moment, and he wasn’t quite sure he’d be able to handle any amount of attention this monster seemed prepared to give him. He dared a glance up as the skeleton came to stand beside him, leaning against the bar. “You’re looking a little unsatisfied—though I can hardly blame you for your… short temper—but perhaps I can fix that?” Razz tried to ignore what he was certain had been a jab at his height, refusing to look up at the other skeleton. When he seemed to realise he wasn’t going to receive a response, the skeleton continued. “You can call me Edge, if you wish.” He held out his hand.

Razz regarded it with mild disdain, before allowing his gaze to slowly wander to Edge’s face. “Razz. And my only wish is to obtain a drink. Alone.”

Edge chuckled again and withdrew his hand, his sharp teeth pulling into a smile. “Well, Razz, I can certainly arrange that.” Razz’s gaze drifted doubtfully to the bartender, who still had their back turned. “Oh, not from here,” Edge said, seeming to sense Razz’s train of thought. “There’s a far more distinguished private bar upstairs that I think would be more to your tastes.”

Razz looked back up, narrowing his eye sockets into a mistrustful frown. “Forgive me, but that sounds an awful lot like a proposition.”

Edge’s smile didn’t falter, and he lifted a brow bone, still appearing amused. “Only if you’re willing.” Razz felt his soul stutter slightly as Edge’s crimson eye-lights flashed. But after a pause, he shook his head, laughing. “My offer has no price. Consider this a favour. It’s the least I can do for one of my more… fetching patrons.” Razz looked away with a frown, irritated at his magic for reacting slightly to that.

Then something clicked in his head, and he glanced up, his frown deepening. “… _your_ patrons? You’re…” Edge smirked as realisation dawned on Razz. “You own this place?” Edge shrugged, still smiling, and Razz scoffed, glancing around and doing his best to appear unfazed. “You really ought to consider hiring better staff.”

“I’ll put it on my to-do list,” Edge said, offering Razz his hand. “But for now, would you care to join me?”

Razz raised a brow bone at Edge, regarding him contemplatively for a moment. “Am I also on your to-do list?” he asked, smirking.

Edge’s smile faded into a frown. “I should inform you that I’m not renowned for tolerating crass, slapdash jokes like that.” Razz smiled wider, deciding that perhaps this monster was dignified enough to warrant his attention.

“You’ll have to forgive me,” he said, smoothly, taking Edge’s hand. “Crude habits run in the family.” Inexplicably, this seemed to amuse Edge, bringing the smile back onto his face. With a small inclination of his head, he guided Razz towards the elevators at the end of the room. Suddenly feeling a lot more complacent, Razz willingly followed, shooting a smirk over his shoulder at the bartender, who was giving him a bland look.

The elevator ride was long, and Razz could only assume they were heading for one of the very top floors. His suspicions were confirmed when they emerged onto an empty corridor, lined with numbered doors. He narrowed his eye sockets as Edge guided him towards one of them, slipping a key card out of his pocket. “Private bar? This seems an awful lot like your bedroom,” Razz sneered, though he wasn’t exactly complaining.

Edge glanced over his shoulder, tilting his head slightly. “Given that I own this place, technically all of these bedrooms are mine.”

Razz scoffed with a roll of his eyes, striding past Edge into the vast living space. He tried to hide how impressed he was by the incredible view of the city, and the spotless furniture, by placing his hands on his hips. “Hm. Not bad,” he muttered, turning to look at Edge. “Though, I suppose I can only offer proper judgement once I’ve tested out the bed.” He gave Edge a sultry look, eye sockets lidded.

“At least let me pour you that drink first,” Edge said, somehow seeming unswayed by Razz’s advances. He approached the minibar in the small kitchen, glancing through its contents. “I take it you’re not opposed to drinking port?”

Razz shrugged, humming noncommittally as he strode over to Edge, who offered him a glass, still smirking. Razz had to admit, he was surprised Edge was actually bothering with the foreplay of the drinks. He’d genuinely expected that they’d be getting down to business immediately. He swirled the contents of his glass idly as Edge sipped at his own, observing Razz in silence. Razz looked up, pinning Edge with one of his smirks—erring between cold and enticing.

Frustratingly, Edge didn’t seem at all unsettled, simply continuing to regard Razz with a significant amount of collectedness. Taking it as a challenge, Razz leaned in slightly, murmuring, “Well, now that I have my drink, I believe I owe you a favour.” He allowed magic to flow into his mouth, and he was certain Edge noticed it.

But instead of indulging Razz’s flirting, he stepped away, placing his glass on the countertop. “The room is yours for the night,” he said, calmly, heading for the door. “Do with it what you will.”

Taken aback, and beginning to feel irked at Edge’s coyness, Razz folded his arms, trying to ignore the part of his mind telling him that he was behaving a lot like a spoilt brat. “It’s an awfully large room,” he said. “What if I get lonely?”

Slowly, Edge turned to regard Razz with amusement. There was a flicker of teasing in his eyes, which did little to calm the anger slowly building within Razz. “There’s no… short supply of patrons willing to buy a dashing young monster such as yourself a drink or two,” Edge said, smirking at the reaction the thinly veiled crack at Razz’s height extracted from the smaller skeleton. “I’m sure you can find one.” Without another word, he turned and left, closing the door behind him.

Somehow—despite finally having a drink in his hand—Razz felt more frustrated than he had the entire night.


	4. A fair trade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> itsladykit asked: "Congratulations on the follower milestone! You're an awesome writer and you deserve every last one. As for prompts, I'm going to let you choose, because I would be happy with either of these: (42) platonic Fellbros, or (34) Edgeberry. Whichever one inspires you. Or neither, if neither of them catch your interest. Congratulations again! <3"
> 
> Prompt: "Fine. I'll help you. But I want something in return."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Edgeberry (UF Papyrus/US Sans)
> 
> Tags: College AU, mild sexual content, fluff, Tsundere Edge
> 
> Warnings: Blue is a manipulative little shit.

Steeling himself, and taking what must have been his hundredth calming breath of the morning, Edge raised his fist and knocked three times on the door. A trill voice sounded from inside. “Come in, it’s unlocked!” Slowly, Edge pushed open the door, entering the small dorm room. Blue was seated on one of the beds, an assortment of books and papers scattered across the sheets in front of him. He glanced up as Edge walked in, a delighted grin stretching across his round face. “Edge! How lovely of you to stop by.”

Edge nodded stiffly, distractedly glancing around the room. “Is my brother here?” he asked, trying not to sound as anxious as he was feeling.

Blue shook his head, his grin fading slightly. “Oh—no, he just left to get some coffee before class. You might be able to catch him if you hurry.”

Edge breathed an internal sigh of relief and shook his head. “No, I um—I actually came to see you.”

Blue looked surprised, although the tiny stars in his eyes sparkled slightly. “Oh!” A pale cyan blush crept across his cheekbones, and Edge noticed him trying to hide it by ducking his head, focusing aptly on the books in front of him. “What prompted this visit?” he asked. Edge could tell he was trying to feign nonchalance, but the way his gaze occasionally flickered up gave him away.

“Actually, I was, um…” Feeling awkward hovering by the door, Edge walked hesitantly up to the bed, and Blue glanced up, his eyes widening marginally. “May I sit?”

“O-of course!” Blue said, stammering slightly. He shifted over as Edge slid onto the bed beside him, twisting his hands together as he tried to calm his nerves. Silence ticked for a few moments, Edge trying to build up the confidence to ask the question on his mind. Eventually, Blue cleared his throat, and Edge flinched slightly. “So, uh, what is this about?”

Trying desperately not to blush, Edge drew himself up so that his posture was rigid. “I—I need to ask you for a favour.”

Blue seemed taken aback, his brow bones shooting up. “Oh? What favour?”

Edge played idly with a loose thread on one of Blue’s pillows, channelling every ounce of his self-control into not losing his nerve. “It has to do with, um—well, the thing is—” Edge mentally cursed himself for being so ineloquent. Gathering up his strength, he huffed a heavy sigh, turning to look Blue straight in the eye. “I’M FAILING ONE OF MY CLASSES AND I NEED YOU TO TUTOR ME.” Blue flinched slightly at the sudden increase in volume, and Edge blushed deeply, looking away quickly. “If… if that’s okay with you,” he added, voice shrinking significantly.

“Oh,” Blue said, sounding a little stunned. His large cerulean eyes were still wide as he regarded Edge, who was trying very hard to fight back his heated blush. “Um, what class is it?” Blue asked.

“It’s an astronomy elective I’m taking,” Edge mumbled, his blush deepening. ~~He neglected to mention that his knowledge of astronomy was practically non-existent, and that he’d only enrolled in the class because he’d known Blue was taking it too.~~

“I see,” Blue said, looking thoughtful for a moment. Edge glanced at him hesitantly, his fingers clenching into a fist as he apprehensively awaited Blue’s answer. After what felt like an eternity, the smaller skeleton turned to look at him. “Very well—fine. I’ll help you.”

Edge’s soul flipped, and he felt a grin broadening across his face. “You—you will? Oh, Blue, thank you! I—”

“But,” Blue interrupted, holding up a hand. A small, almost canny smile twisted the corner of his mouth, “I want something in return.”

Edge felt himself slumping slightly, but he tried not to let it show, quickly nodding. “Oh—yes, of course. What is it?”

To his surprise, a pale tint of magic rose to Blue’s cheekbones, but the little monster held himself upright, keeping Edge’s gaze firmly locked. “I want you to teach me how to kiss!”

Edge very nearly let loose a squeal of surprise, barely managing to stifle it with a cough. If he’d thought he’d been blushing before, his cheeks now felt like a furnace, burning brightly to the point he could swear the magic was glowing. “I—” He broke off, staring straight ahead as he tried to compose himself. He could feel Blue’s gaze on him, and it certainly wasn’t helping extinguish the heat in his cheekbones. “W-why?” was all he seemed able to get out.

“Well, there is someone I wish to ask to the Christmas Formal,” Blue said, speaking slowly, enunciating each word as if to make certain Edge understood. “And it occurred to me that I have no practice when it comes to kissing—which simply will not do if I am to be an adequate date! Therefore, I believe I will need training before I am to ask—this person—to the Formal!” Blue offered Edge an innocent grin, but Edge couldn’t help but detect a hint of something else beneath the smile.

“But—” Edge scrambled for an excuse, but his mind came up blank. He was very defiantly trying to push down the small part of him that was more than eager to jump on Blue’s offer.

“It’s alright, Edge,” Blue said, leaning a little closer. He had that smile on his face—a look that reminded Edge so much of his own brother, yet seemed so out of place on the softer skeleton. His proximity was sending a number of thoughts through Edge’s mind, not all of them completely decent. “We don’t have to do this, if that’s not what you want! I’m certain we can come up with different terms—”

“No!” Edge almost yelled. He quickly snapped his mouth shut, feeling ready to melt into the carpet below upon seeing the small grin Blue was giving him. “I—I mean, I don’t mind. I’m happy to—to teach you how to…” Edge swallowed, “kiss.”

Blue clapped his hands together, looking delighted. “Excellent! Shall we start now?”

“What?” Edge squeaked, the magic rising to his cheekbones once again. Blue giggled slightly, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.

“There’s no need to be nervous, Edge,” Blue said, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “I am certain you will be a wonderful teacher—and I, an excellent student!” Edge kept his gaze averted, even as Blue cupped a hand under his jaw, gently turning his face. “Tell me, what do I do first?”

Edge swallowed thickly, finally lifting his gaze. Blue’s eye-lights were sparkling, excitement swimming within them. Edge could feel the first signs of warm magic trickling into his mouth, and he swallowed again, trying to dispel it. “W-well…” his voice came out strained, and he cleared his throat. “Well—you can start by… by taking their hands…” Despite having given the instruction, Edge still had to stop himself from flinching when he felt Blue lacing their fingers together.

“And then?” Blue asked, sweetly, tilting his head inquisitively.

“Then you…” Edge couldn’t help it. He looked away again, the deep hue of Blue’s eyes becoming too much for him. He felt a small hand coming to curl around the back of his neck, drawing him in slightly.

“Is this right?” Blue asked. They were so close, Edge could feel the smaller skeleton’s breath ghosting against his teeth. Not trusting himself with words, he simply nodded. “What about this?” Blue asked, trailing a single finger over the corner of Edge’s mouth. Again, Edge nodded, though this time he had to suppress a small whine in the back of his throat. His breathing stuttered slightly as Blue leaned close, pressing their teeth together gently. It lasted only a second, but when Blue drew away, Edge released a small gasp, staring into his glittering eyes, transfixed. “Was that good?” Blue asked, his voice soft.

“Y-yes,” Edge breathed, surging forward and pulling Blue into a deep kiss. A single swipe of tongue across Blue’s teeth, and he was granting Edge entrance. Their combined magic sent tingles through Edge’s bones, and he looped a hand around the back of Blue’s neck, pulling him closer. The other hand was still intertwined with one of Blue’s, and he gave Blue’s fingers a tight squeeze, his soul clenching in his chest as he felt Blue return it.

When they finally broke apart, Blue’s cheekbones were alight, but a wide grin was plastered across his face. “That was excellent teaching, Edge,” he said, eyes sparkling. Edge wasn’t sure how to respond, and he subconsciously twisted his hands together again. “But, I think I need a little more training before I’m ready to ask—that person—out on a date.”

Without warning, Blue pressed close to Edge once more, enveloping him in another deep kiss. Edge’s gasp of surprise quickly melted into a soft sigh, and he allowed Blue to tug him closer by the collar of his shirt, his tongue tracing across every inch of Edge’s mouth. All too soon though, Blue was drawing away again, and Edge reluctantly released his hand.

Blue hummed, nodding contemplatively. “Hmm, yes, those lessons seemed to have worked! I think I’m ready.” A mischievous grin spread across his face, and Edge’s soul jumped as Blue took a hold of both his hands, lifting them as he pulled himself into an upright position, eyes bright. “Edge, will you go to the Christmas Formal with me?”


	5. Humour me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happysushichan asked: "Hi dear~ so if it's okey can I ask for a little honeyketchup in the prompt 26 or kingdings if that pair it's not okey to you please? >w<"
> 
> Prompt: "Wow. You're a lot more attractive in person."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Honeyketchup (UT Sans/US Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: online dating, sexual humour, puns
> 
> Warnings: The puns are really bad.

Sans’ phone buzzed again, and he rolled over in bed, glancing at the new message.

**_Hey sweetheart, my place in five? I’d love to bone ;)_ **

Sighing, he deleted the match. He had to admit, it may have been a mistake including the fact that he was a skeleton monster in his online profile. Even he tended to get tired of the boning jokes after a while.

Since he and his brother had moved to London, Papyrus had been trying to convince him to meet more people. He’d recommended the app to Sans, telling him that it was a great way to make new friends. Sans had a strong feeling that Papyrus didn’t quite understand the true nature of ‘online dating’ (although a small part of him feared that he did).

Regardless, Sans had quickly found himself intrigued by the concept, delving into the world of quick ‘matches’ and short ‘dates’—more as a way to distract himself than anything. Given his inconsistent sleeping schedule, Sans often found himself awake into the early hours of the morning, chatting to strangers or simply flicking through their profiles. Most of them were human, but Sans had come across the occasional monster. In truth though, no one had ever really sparked his interest, unless it was for some late night dirty talk or a quick way to get off.

Growing bored, Sans placed his phone on the nightstand, deciding that this probably wasn’t the best way to fix his bad sleeping habits. He closed his eyes, trying to find some semblance of sleep. Just as he’d begun to drift off however, his phone buzzed again. Groaning slightly, Sans turned over, glancing at the screen.

**_You have: 1 new match!_ **

He considered for a moment. More likely than not, it was another ‘comedian’ lining up with one of their _bone_ r jokes. Still, Sans wasn’t exactly eager to sleep. He wasn’t sure if it was the new country, or simply a shift in whatever strange part of his magical makeup had programmed him for nightmares, but he was woken up by night terrors more often than not these days.

Unlocking his phone, Sans glanced over the profile of his new match, ‘Stretch’. The profile picture was nothing more than an image of a skull and crossbones, with the description ‘come plunder me booty’ beneath it. Despite himself, Sans released a small chuckle at that. It was different, at least.

Figuring that it was worth a shot, Sans typed out a quick message, with a picture attachment of the titanic.

**ice to meet you. name’s sans.**

He waited for a moment, and when there was no response, he typed out the second part of his message.

**heh sorry. was that a bad icebreaker?**

Sans had to admit, as often as he used it, it was still a classic. If ‘Stretch’ didn’t respond though, Sans could hardly blame him. A minute passed. Then two. Eventually, Sans figured he wasn’t going to receive a reply, and locked his phone again, crawling back under his covers.

But the silence was instantly interrupted by a sudden buzz, and Sans glanced up, his notifications displaying a new message from Stretch.

**stretch. and ice seen better.**

Sans grinned, appreciative of the response, despite the subtle jab at his own pun-making abilities. His phone buzzed again, and another message popped up.

**but honestly, there’s snow better way i could’ve said it myself.**

Sans’ grin widened, and for once, he actually felt a little intrigued. It wasn’t often that people went along with his jokes—and they almost never supplied their own puns in return. Leaning back slightly, and shifting into a more comfortable position, he typed out a response.

**gotta admit, it’s not often that people humour me.**

Sans waited, eagerly watching the screen as the typing bubble popped up.

**well, i myself am just a skull and crossbones, but you seem pretty humerus.**

“heh.” Sans snickered, grateful that for once, the skeleton related joke involved something other than boning. Curiosity prickled in the back of his mind. Stretch’s profile said that he was less than five miles away. While Sans seldom met up with people from the app, he couldn’t deny, he was a little intrigued by this guy. Deciding that perhaps he should gather a little more information before making any snap decisions, he typed out another message.

**so why you up so late?**

**bad sleeper. you?**

Sans paused for a moment, considering. While he was tempted to state that he wasn’t exactly the heaviest sleeper himself, he knew the generic ‘same’ response was always a conversation killer. So instead, he typed out a different reply, grinning.

**looking for buried treasure.**

Sans couldn’t help but laugh quietly to himself at his own joke. He had to admit, the idea had been tickling the back of his mind since seeing Stretch’s profile description, he’d just been waiting for the opportunity to use it.

The minutes ticked by, and Stretch didn’t supply a response. Sans’ self-congratulatory chuckles soon faded, and he suddenly began to panic, wondering if he’d overstepped. After a good ten minutes, just when he’d begun to fear that Stretch had abandoned the conversation altogether, a reply came through.

**well, i do live kinda near king’s cross.**

Sans frowned for a moment, his mind puzzling over the response, trying to wrap his head around the meaning behind Stretch’s words. His phone buzzed again, and a second message popped up.

**or you know, you could just come over and find x for yourself.**

It suddenly clicked, and Sans found himself struggling to keep his grin suppressed.

**x marks the spot hehe. took me a while.**

Excitement bubbled in his chest. Their conversation hadn’t been long, but Sans had to admit, it was the first time he’d spoken to someone interesting in a long time. His soul jumped slightly with anticipation when Stretch responded again.

**it was a bit of a stretch, i’ll admit.**

Sans was never one to be outdone when it came to puns, but right now, his mind was almost a little too ecstatic to think of anything witty to respond with. He glanced back over their previous messages, still grinning to himself in a way that was actually genuine for once. Suddenly, something occurred to him, and he frowned slightly, quickly typing out a message.

**wait.**

Sans paused, reading back over Stretch’s messages to make sure he’d understood correctly.

**were you asking me to come over?**

Normally, Sans could immediately tell when someone was coming onto him. The hints were never subtle, and he usually tried to avoid meeting anyone in person, unless he was feeling particularly restless and needed a quick way to relieve some stress. But he’d almost missed Stretch’s small hint the first time. _come over and find x for yourself._ Sans wasn’t sure if it had been too subtle, or if he’d simply been too wrapped up in the tirade of puns to notice. His soul raced in his chest as he impatiently awaited Stretch’s reply.

**depends.**

There was a pause. Stretch’s typing bubble popped up then disappeared a few times, as if he was contemplating whether or not to send his next message.

**would you come if i told you to?**

Sans felt a sudden heat rippling through his bones, and his soul flipped in his chest. He had to swallow heavily to rid his mouth of the magic that had begun to coalesce there. That hadn’t been subtle at all. Stretch was definitely flirting with him now. Excitement flooded him, and Sans could no longer keep the grin off his face.

He must have taken too long to respond, because a (seemingly rather frantic) message came through.

**heh. shit, sorry. too far?**

Without thinking, Sans typed out a hurried reply.

**nah, king’s cross isn’t too far from me.**

Stretch’s reply was almost instantaneous, and Sans could almost sense his relief through the phone, despite the fact that it was only an emoji.

**:D**

Sans hesitated for a moment, considering the situation. Was he really going to do this? A quick glance at the clock told him that it was almost midnight. Papyrus had long gone to bed, although in truth, Sans doubted he was really asleep. It was unlikely he’d be bothered if Sans left this late anyway—if anything, he’d probably be pleased Sans was meeting up with a… friend. Not to mention, the odds of Sans falling asleep now were rather minimal.

Mind made up, he shot a quick message to Stretch.

**what’s ur address? i’ll be there in 5.**

 

****

 

Sans’ soul thumped erratically as he knocked on the door to the apartment. He prayed to the stars that Stretch hadn’t sent him a fake address. Although part of him almost hoped he had. He was already having doubts. What if Stretch didn’t actually want to see him? What if they didn’t really click as much in person? What if this was some kind of set up? An elaborate prank of which Sans was the punchline.

He wasn’t given a chance to linger on these thoughts, as a moment later, the door swung open, revealing a tall, slouching skeleton monster, his hands in the pockets of his faded orange hoodie. Sans found himself gaping for a moment, and upon seeing Stretch’s grin, he quickly snapped his mouth shut.

“uh, stretch?” was all Sans seemed able to enunciate.

Stretch smirked, his golden eye-lights glinting slightly. “in the flesh.”

Sans chuckled, running a hand over the back of his skull. He suddenly felt extremely awkward, and magic rose to his cheekbones. “geez, sorry, i um… i just… wow. you’re a lot more attractive in person.”

Stretch raised a brow bone, regarding Sans quizzically, though there was still the faint hint of humour in his eyes. “i can’t tell if you’re complimenting me or insulting my profile picture.”

Sans felt his eyes going wide, his blush deepening. “oh—no! no, i wasn’t. heh, honestly the skull and crossbones kinda drew me in. i didn’t mean it like that, i only…” Sans trailed off as Stretch started laughing, the sound light and clear—almost sweet.

“i’m pulling your tibia, dude. i—i’m flattered, really, uh… thanks.” Sans’ soul clenched slightly at the sight of a faint golden blush rising to Stretch’s own cheekbones, his eyes darting away from Sans. They were both silent for a moment, Sans’ hands shoved deep in his pockets as he regarded Stretch, and for once, his grin didn’t feel so forced. “so, um… you wanna head inside and skip straight to the, uh, heh—booty plundering?” Stretch asked, his blush intensifying. “or… do you maybe want to grab a drink or something and… flesh this out a bit more?”

Stretch was looking nervous, which Sans was almost appreciative of. If anything, it made him feel a little more relaxed, knowing that he wasn’t the only one anxious to pursue this. “well, uh, i’ve never been a particularly fleshy monster…” Sans began, earning a grin from Stretch. “but, uh…”

Sans regarded the other monster for a moment. He couldn’t deny, his entire body was already buzzing with eager magic. He wasn’t sure if it was the puns, or simply the astounding fact that Stretch was also a skeleton monster—and a fair looking one at that—but he already found himself slightly drawn to him. And it felt a little too strong just to be sexual attraction. Taking a long breath, he said, “you know what? let’s, uh… let’s hang out.”

Stretch looked surprised, although if the smile that spread across his face was any indication, he wasn’t disappointed. “really?”

Sans grinned, nodding. “yeah, you know what they say. you gotta dig a little deeper before you find the real treasure.”


	6. What are you going to do? Arrest me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: "46. with Spicyhoneybbq (UF Papyrus and SF Papyrus as cops, US Paps as goodfornothing delinquent)"
> 
> Prompt: "Is there a problem, officer?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Spicyhoneybbq (UF Papyrus/SF Papyrus/US Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: Police AU, flirting, suggestive content (no actual smut though)
> 
> Warnings: Mild police intimidation

“So, when do I get to meet this fiancé of yours?” Edge asked, glancing up at his partner. “I’m afraid I’m still not entirely convinced you haven’t just made him up.”

Slim looked at him, a brow bone cocked. “maybe i’ll introduce you if you promise not to be an asshole to me for the next three weeks of patrol.”

Edge hummed, frowning, then shook his head. “I’m sorry, those are not terms I can agree to. Being an asshole is part of the job description when it comes to training rookie cops.”

Slim grinned, shrugging. “guess you’ll have to wait until the wedding then, edgelord.”

Edge’s soul gave a small leap in his chest (part of it due to his irritation at Slim’s nickname for him), but he schooled his features before looking up. “I’m invited to your wedding?” he asked, trying to sound indifferent.

Slim regarded him in silence for a moment, that ever-present sliver of amusement playing across his features. “well,” he said eventually, “it would be a bit nearsighted not to invite my best man to my own wedding.”

Edge had to look away to hide the crimson flush on his cheekbones. He could practically feel Slim’s smirking gaze fixed on him, and he quickly cleared his throat, straightening his uniform. “Very well, I’ll be there. Now, look alive. This isn’t the friendliest of neighbourhoods.” Slim only watched Edge for a moment longer, before glancing away, his attention raptly focused on the dingy, snow-covered streets around them.

It was getting late, most residents hurrying inside for the night to escape the cold and dark. Edge could hardly blame them. More than once, he’d been called to this part of town to deal with one incident or another. He shot a quick glance at his protégé, scanning his posture, his expression, his alertness. He couldn’t deny, Slim certainly seemed programmed for the job. He was constantly on his toes, despite concealing it, and he had a natural protective instinct that came in handy when working with a partner.

They rounded a corner onto a street lined with a few shops—some, not quite what one would consider honest traders. Edge had long been trying to convince his Captain to investigate some of the activities that went on down here, but she’d always brushed him off, telling him she had bigger worries.

Up ahead, Edge suddenly caught sight of a hoodie-clad figure carrying a backpack, their head ducked as they hurried down the street. While Edge figured they might just be trying to get out of the cold, something about their demeanour told him that they were trying to avoid attention. He glanced at Slim, nodding his head in the direction of the figure. “Ever done a stop and search?” he asked. Slim shrugged, shaking his head. “Come on then, I’ll demonstrate.”

Slim smirked as he followed Edge down the street towards the hurrying figure, and Edge was tempted to tell him to act professional, but figured the command would be lost on the constantly laid-back skeleton. As they neared the person, Edge noticed the glint of golden eye-lights beneath their hoodie, surprised upon realising that it was another skeleton monster. Well, that ruled out the cold as a reason for their haste. Edge cleared his throat, calling out. “Excuse me, sir.”

He was half-expecting the monster to bolt, but instead, he turned slowly to face Edge and Slim. Edge was a little irritated to see the flicker of a smirk on his features—as if he didn’t have to deal with enough of that at work every day. “is there a problem, officer?” the skeleton asked, his voice smooth. His gaze fell on Slim, and he coughed. “officers,” he corrected.

Edge remained poised, but non-threatening, reminding himself that this citizen hadn’t done anything wrong… yet. “Do you mind telling us where you’re headed?” he asked, calmly. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Slim, who was looking abnormally rigid, his gaze fixed on the other skeleton.

“just heading home,” the skeleton said, offering Edge a small smile.

Edge nodded in the direction of the backpack. “What’s in the bag?”

The skeleton raised a brow bone, and inexplicably, his gaze darted to Slim for a moment, before coming back to rest on Edge. “been doing some christmas shopping.”

Edge frowned, his hand twitching towards his holster. “That’s funny, since Christmas was yesterday. A little late to be getting gifts, isn’t it?”

The skeleton shook his head with a chuckle. “well, i am rather forgetful—you know how it is.”

Edge’s frown deepened. “I’m going to have to ask you to open the bag, sir,” he said, coolly, keeping his voice level. While this monster didn’t seem to be the unstable type, the last thing he wanted was to startle him into doing something stupid. He felt Slim tap him on the shoulder.

“edge, i’m not sure if we should be—”

“Quiet, rookie,” Edge growled under his breath, not turning his attention away from the skeleton in front of him. Slim fell silent, but Edge could see him shifting nervously in the snow as he observed the other monster, who was silent, glancing between them. Edge was a little unsettled by the fact that his lazy smirk hadn’t once faltered, and he was looking as relaxed as ever. “Sir, if you refuse to cooperate, I’m going to have to—”

“no need to jump the gun, officer,” the skeleton interrupted, grinning. The pun alone might have been enough to make Edge snap, had he not been trying to demonstrate correct protocol to Slim. Still, he pinned the skeleton with a warning glare, causing him to chuckle and shake his head. “i’ll gladly open the bag.” Gradually, his movements slow and deliberate, the skeleton unshouldered the backpack, lowering it onto the thick snow covering the ground. Edge felt Slim give his arm an insistent tap.

_“edge—”_

“That’s _enough,_ Slim!” Edge snapped. The irritation inside him only seemed to increase when he caught sight of the skeleton grinning up at them from where he was crouched. Giving an impatient sigh, Edge said, “Stop delaying, and open the bag.”

The amusement never leaving his expression, the skeleton finally obliged, slowly unzipping the backpack. Edge’s soul stuttered at the sight of its contents, heat quickly rising to his cheekbones as he realised his mistake. A _very_ vast collection of… bedroom toys, in many sizes and shapes, filled the bag to its brim. The skeleton’s grin widened, and he tilted his head questioningly. “would you like me to demonstrate what they’re used for, too?”

Trying very hard to hide the heated magic on his cheekbones, Edge cleared his throat. “D-don’t be— _no._ You—you may close the bag,” he said, stiffly.

The skeleton made no move to obey, still regarding Edge with a disconcertingly sultry expression. “are you completely certain you want me to close it, _officer?”_ he almost purred.

Edge spluttered, utterly indignant. Beside him, he was certain he could hear Slim trying to stifle his snickers. He’d have to have a long conversation with him later about proper police etiquette. For now, he turned his outraged glare on the skeleton before him, who was still grinning, an element of playfulness in his eyes. “Are you propositioning a police officer?” Edge asked, voice dropping low despite the sudden rise of magic to his already burning cheekbones.

The other skeleton however, seemed completely unperturbed, grinning as his gaze flickered to Edge’s badge. “only if you’re offering, officer…” he narrowed his eye sockets, squinting at the badge through the dim evening light, “edgelord.”

Edge fumed, unable to comprehend the sheer audacity of the monster before him. He was almost at a loss for words, spluttering incoherently until something clicked inside his head. “Wait. What did you just call me?” he asked, eye sockets narrowing in suspicion. Before the skeleton could answer, he turned to Slim, who had his hand over his mouth, his form shaking with laughter. “ _What_ is the meaning of this?” Edge snapped, and Slim quickly coughed to hide his snickers.

“i, um—” Slim cleared his throat again, “edge, i’d like to formally introduce you to my fiancé, stretch.”

For a moment, Edge’s mind couldn’t quite seem to comprehend Slim’s words. He stood, completely dumbstruck, until the gears in his head slowly clicked back into action. “You—you’re—?” He glanced frantically between Slim and his fiancé, a mixture of mortification and outrage building within him.

“it’s lovely to meet you, _officer,”_ Stretch said, the lecherous way he spoke Edge’s title doing little to quell the officer’s humiliation. Zipping up the backpack and rising to his feet, Stretch held out his hand. “i’ve heard so much about you.”

Too stunned to shake Stretch’s hand, Edge could only stare, until he heard Slim give a low chuckle. “enough flirting, love, go home. i’ll be there soon to entertain you.” Stretch grinned, excitement sparkling in his eyes, and Edge tried to deny that involuntary magic flooded his mouth at the expression. “i think the edgelord has suffered enough at your hands for tonight.” Slim gave Edge’s arm a gentle nudge, but Edge barely registered it, still trying very hard not to snap… or do something far more indecent.

“i beg to differ,” Stretch said with a wink Edge’s direction, but after a stern look from Slim, he hoisted his backpack over his shoulders. “perhaps another time, then. i can’t wait to get to know you, officer.” Stretch’s gaze lingered on Edge a little too long for his liking, and he was more than relieved when he disappeared down the street.

The moment he was out of sight, Edge spun to face Slim, fuming. _“What the hell was that?”_ he hissed, fists clenching. “Why didn’t you _tell me_ he was your fiancé?”

Slim shrugged, appearing unfazed by Edge’s sudden outburst. “i tried. but you seemed very eager to get him to open that backpack. i have to ask—did you know what was in there?”

Edge knew Slim was trying to rile him up—and by god, it was working. Taking a long, deep breath in an attempt to compose himself, he clenched his teeth together. “You _know_ I didn’t—anyway, it’s not important. We will _never_ speak of it again. Am I clear?”

Slim was still grinning, but after a moment, he nodded. “crystal… officer.” Edge swallowed back his retort at Slim’s imitation of Stretch, turning to continue his patrol—like a _professional_. “oh, by the way,” Slim said, catching up to him. “you’ll have to forgive my fiancé’s forwardness, but his offer still stands if you’re interested.”

Edge slowed slightly, turning to regard Slim with a frown. “Offer…?”

Slim smiled, the expression far too saccharine to be innocent. “to join us. there’s plenty of room in our bed for three.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Dear god, I'm so bad at coming up with titles. I really do apologise. Honestly, the order I'm posting these in is based on when I conjure the inspiration for a title.


	7. The 'B' Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: "16 kustard?"
> 
> Prompt: “I never thought I’d say this, but I really hope I’m not about to get laid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Kustard (UT Sans/UF Sans)
> 
> Tags: Suggestive content, mild nsfw, terrible puns, coming out of the closet (this in itself is a terrible pun, I'm really sorry)
> 
> Warnings: None

“welcome to the bonephone, this is sans speaking.”

Sans grinned to himself as he heard Red whisper a muffled curse on the other end of the line. “hey asshole, come over. the boss isn’t home.”

Sans hummed thoughtfully, chewing on the nozzle of his ketchup bottle as he turned over, further tangling his bedsheets. “heh, i dunno. this bed’s pretty comfy. and don’t you have work today?” Red was silent for a beat, and Sans chuckled. “thought so. hmm, i dunno red. i’m not sure i can support this kind of slacking off.”

Sans could practically hear Red rolling his eyes through the phone. “just get over here, bonehead. i dunno how long it’ll be before my bro gets back. we might not have much time… alone.”

“you still haven’t told him, huh?”

“have you told yer brother?”

Sans was silent, before sighing in defeat. “alright, be there in five.” Hanging up, he slowly clambered off the bed, pulling on his shoes before heading downstairs. Excitement buzzed in his chest, but he did his best to remain placid, knowing that Red still struggled when it came to… affection. As he reached the door, Papyrus emerged from the kitchen, frowning as he noticed Sans.

“SANS. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”

Frantic, Sans scrambled for an excuse. “uh… work?”

Papyrus’ sockets narrowed for a moment, and Sans forced a wide grin, hand twisting on the doorknob. “I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION YOU HAD THE DAY OFF TODAY, BROTHER.”

Sans froze, feeling sweat building on his skull. “uh…”

“HOW DEDICATED OF YOU FOR TAKING THE INITIATIVE TO PUT IN THE EXTRA HOURS! I AM PROUD OF YOU, SANS.”

Papyrus beamed, and guilt twisted in Sans’ soul for lying to him. “heh, well, figured i’d take your advice and put more backbone into my job, bro,” he said, scratching the back of his skull.

Papyrus regarded him for a moment, expression dull, before sighing. “I DO NOT EVER RECALL HAVING USED THOSE EXACT WORDS, BUT I SUPPOSE IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.” He shook his head, returning to the kitchen as he called, “TAKE CARE, SANS!”

“see ya, paps,” Sans replied, already halfway out the door. He breathed a relieved sigh as he hurried towards the basement, ignoring the nagging part of his mind telling him it was wrong to keep things from Papyrus. Well, the decision was only half his—he and Red still hadn’t had a proper conversation about their… affiliation with one another.

Sans couldn’t stop himself from pulling a face when he stepped out of the portal and into the basement of the Underfell brothers. Though he’d visited this world many times, he wasn’t sure he’d ever grow used to that musty smell he always tried to convince himself was regular dust. Eager not to linger in the dingy room, he took a quick short-cut up to Red’s bedroom, almost colliding with his darker alternate. “whoops, sorry for rattling your bones there, bud.”

Red brushed himself off, before grinning at Sans. “heh, ‘s no problem, i don’ bruise very easily.” He quickly hurried to the door, shooting a glance down the passage before closing it.

Sans raised a brow bone quizzically. “thought your bro wasn’t home?”

Red shrugged, strolling over. “he’s not, but there’s only so much time until he notices i’m not at my sentry station.” He grinned, looping an arm around Sans’ waist and pulling him in. “better make this quick.”

“heh. my specialty.”

Sans smiled as Red pressed their mouths together, his tongue immediately licking a trail over Sans’ teeth. Their magic met, and Sans allowed his hands to glide over Red’s spine, appreciating the shudder that ran through his counterpart as he did so. Red pulled away briefly to smirk at Sans, before dipping his head and nipping at his sensitive vertebrae. “y’know…” Sans murmured, taking a deep breath and letting his eyes fall closed as Red’s tongue pressed against his neck. “you’re a real… verte _bae_.” Sans’ chuckles died as he suddenly realised the implication of the thoughtless pun. Red froze against him, his hands still clutched onto Sans’ jacket. “ah, shit, heh, well not like _that,_ i just meant—”

“wait, quiet!” Red hissed, pressing a hand over Sans’ mouth as he pulled away. Sans frowned, trying to pry the hand away, but Red hushed him, eye sockets narrowing.

Suddenly, there was a shout from downstairs. “Brother! It’s nine o’clock in the morning. Your lunch break isn’t for another three hours. Why aren’t you at your post?”

Red winced, meeting Sans’ gaze for only a moment, before hurriedly dragging him towards the closet, cramming them both inside and sliding the door shut. Sans couldn’t help but grin as he felt Red shifting awkwardly, their bodies squashed together in the small space. “heh. never thought i’d say this, but i really hope i’m not about to get laid,” Sans said, brushing his fingers over Red’s hip. “guess it would be kinda fitting though, since—we’re literally in a closet.” Red scowled, slapping Sans’ hand away, before pressing his skull against the closet door.

The sound of footsteps echoed from the passage outside, and Sans heard Red draw in a sharp breath as the bedroom door creaked open. “Red?” Edge’s voice drifted through the closet doors, and he muttered a silent curse, grumbling something about laziness and incompetence. He and Red stood stock still for what felt like hours, Sans doing his best not to breathe too loudly. It was a little difficult with Red’s hips barely inches from his own, and one of his hands braced on Sans’ chest. At the sound of the bedroom door finally clicking shut again, Red released a breath, twisting to look at Sans.

“uh, maybe we should… wait a bit, until we’re sure he’s gone.”

Sans cocked a brow bone, regarding Red questioningly. “you that desperate for him not to know about us? or you really just trying to get laid in the closet?”

“heh. trust me, if i get laid anywhere, it’s gonna be on a table.” Sans chuckled quietly, but Red’s own smile quickly faded into a grimace, and he averted his gaze. “and i… i dunno,” he admitted, quietly. “i guess i don’t really want him ta know? ugh. why do we have ta tell anyone anyway? it’s not their business that we’re… y’know.”

Sans shrugged. “eh, i dunno. would make all this sneaking around a bit easier, i guess.”

Red grumbled, looking uncomfortable. He tried to shift away from Sans, but had little success in the cramped space. Sans grinned as Red clutched onto him for a moment to hold himself steady. “well—yer no better,” Red pointed out, still scowling. “’s not like yer jumpin’ up ta tell yer bro either.”

Sans hummed, nodding. “heh. guess you’re right.” He thought for a moment, his hand idly twisting in Red’s jacket. Eventually, he took a deep breath, mind made up. “alright. how’s this? we tell them tonight.”

Red’s gaze shot up, eyes going wide. “what—tonight?”

Sans gave a shrug, nodding. “yeah. why not? it’s been a couple of months, better late than never, huh? and anyway, i’m getting kinda tired of all these fibulas.”

Red stared at him for a moment, deadpan, but Sans could tell he was trying not to smile. “i dunno, ye’ve been fibuling pretty hard these past few weeks.”

Sans grinned, shaking his head. “nah, i think you’ve been the one doing most of the boning.”

“heh, don’t sell yerself short. you’ll femur confident about yerself if ya—”

“Oh for goodness sake, enough!”

Red and Sans barely had the opportunity to exchange a startled glance at the sound of the third voice before the closet door was being yanked open from the outside, the two of them tumbling onto the floor. Red immediately scrambled to his feet, meeting his (rather disgruntled looking) brother’s gaze with a strained grin. “oh, heh—heya boss, how… how long were ya listenin’?”

Edge rolled his eyes callously. “Long enough, brother.” He regarded the two skeletons with disdain. “Hiding in the closet. How appropriate.”

Sans grinned sheepishly, shoving his hands in his jacket’s pockets. “heh, well, looks like the truth’s come out.”

Edge was looking very tempted to give Sans a chastising smack across the skull, but instead, he sighed, rolling his eyes. “The art of subtlety is truly lost on the two of you.”

Red was looking very anxious, shifting between his feet and avoiding his brother’s gaze. “look, boss, i uh—i’m sorry we didn’t tell ya, i just…”

Edge gave an indifferent wave of his hand. “Spare me the apology, Red. Clearly, I’ve interrupted something.” He smirked between the two of them, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ll give you an hour—not that you’ll need that long, Red, nyeh heh.” Red scowled at him, but held his silence, still looking flustered. “But I can assure you, we’ll be having a very thorough conversation tonight,” Edge added, with a hard look in his brother’s direction.

Sans grinned at Red, throwing an arm around his shoulders. For a moment, Red stiffened, looking at Sans with wide eyes. But Sans met him with a reassuring gaze, his grin still plastered across his face. “paps and i will be there too,” he said. Red watched him for a moment, uncertainty in his expression. “hey,” Sans said, letting affection seep into his smile. “i promise tibia good boyfriend.”

Immediately, Sans wished he hadn’t spoken. He and Red had never said the dreaded _b_ word around each other. But inexplicably, this seemed to relax Red, because his frown slowly morphed into a small smile, cherry magic sprinkled across his cheekbones. Turning to look at his brother, he swallowed, saying, “right. yeah. sounds good, boss.” He cleared his throat, giving Edge a deliberate look. “uh, mind gettin’ the fuck out, now? we’ve got stuff to do.”

Edge rolled his eyes, but made his way to the door nonetheless. “One hour, Red,” he reiterated. “I expect you back at your post after that.”

“if he’s still walking,” Sans said, grinning at Red. Edge pulled a disgusted face, seeming more than happy to leave them to their devices. Only when he heard the front door close did Sans turn to hook a hand around the back of Red’s neck. “hey red, i think i’ve changed my mind—i really hope i’m about to get laid.”

This brought a grin to Red’s face, and (a little roughly) he guided Sans to the bed, pinning him against the worn mattress, his eye-lights bright. “oh trust me sweetheart—after that performance—you’re gonna get laid pretty hard.”


	8. Don't underestimate the pettiness of a Sans.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> blankphyer asked: "For the writer prompts thing What about Rottenjoke with 7? Do what you will."
> 
> Prompt: “90% of my important decisions have been made out of spite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Rottenjoke (UT Sans/SF Sans)
> 
> Tags: Fell brothers being manipulative, slightly suggestive towards the end
> 
> Warnings: None

Edge watched with amusement as Razz continued to fail at stopping himself from sending quick glances across the crowded room. He could tell that Razz was trying very hard to distract himself with the puzzle in front of him, but his gaze kept wondering over to Sans, who was standing alone in a corner, idly sipping on a bottle of ketchup. His eyes suddenly landed on Razz, and his permanent grin widened as he shot the other skeleton a wink. Edge smirked at the deep blush that rose to Razz’s cheekbones, the smaller skeleton quickly glancing away, focusing perhaps a little too hard on the simple jigsaw before him.

“five g says sans rejects ‘im when razz finally asks ‘im out.” Edge glanced down to see his brother leaning against the wall beside him, grin plastered on his face as he took a long swig of mustard.

Edge hummed, observing the two skeletons. Razz still seemed to be having a hard time keeping his eyes off Sans, and the lazier skeleton was clearly aware of the fact, which appeared to be thoroughly amusing to him. “Make it twenty G, and you have yourself a deal, Red,” Edge said, smoothly. He glanced down at Red, who had a brow bone raised.

“gettin’ a bit cocky there, boss?” He seemed to think for a moment, before nodding. “fine. deal.” They shook hands, then both strolled over to where Razz was sitting. “heya kid,” Red greeted, offering the short-tempered monster a (rather forced) amiable grin. “what’cha up to?”

Razz’s expression was bored, barely flicking to Red as he continued to stare deliberately at the puzzle pieces. “You’re a sharp-witted monster, Red. I’m certain you can figure that out for yourself.”

Edge smirked at Red, who shot him a scowl. Sitting down, Edge said, “Hey Razz, what do you think of Sans?” Both Razz and Red’s gazes shot to Edge immediately. While Red looked suspicious, clearly trying to determine Edge’s angle, Razz was looking very flustered.

“I don’t—nothing!” Razz spluttered, purple rising to his cheekbones. “I don’t think anything of that trashbag.” Eyes wide, he blinked for a moment, before quickly returning to his puzzle.

Red’s eyes remained on Edge, narrowed and skeptical. Edge maintained a neutral expression, raising a brow bone at his brother. Red slowly turned back to Razz, the strained grin returning to his face. “alright kiddo, no need to play it coy. why don’tcha just ask ‘im out? it’d spare us all a lotta pain.”

Razz went still, and Edge noticed his fingers tightening slightly around the puzzle piece he was holding. “Your skull really is thick, isn’t it whelp? I already stated in rather explicit terms that I have no interest in that grinning piece of garbage.”

Edge and Red exchanged a glance. While the blush on Razz’s cheekbones was a very clear indicator that he was lying, neither of them were in the mood to wait for him to concede and admit to his feelings. Leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, Edge nodded. “I suppose you’re right, Raspberry.” Razz glowered slightly at Edge for using the nickname, but otherwise ignored him. “There wouldn’t be much point asking him out—he’d probably say no anyway.”

This certainly seemed to get Razz’s attention. Gritting his teeth, he looked back up at Edge, glaring. “No, he wouldn’t!” he snapped, dropping his puzzle piece. Seeming to realise what he’d said, he cleared his throat. “Not that—not that I would _want_ him to say yes. I have no interest in him whatsoever.” He frowned, going quiet, before muttering a silent, “But he would say yes.”

Red gave a shake of his head, shrugging. “i dunno, brat, i think the boss is right.”

“I don’t understand why you’re still talking, whelp,” Razz growled, but Edge could tell that Red’s words were getting to him. “And he _isn’t._ My charms are irresistible.”

Edge could tell that Red was trying very hard to stifle a snort at this, so he leaned in. “Well, we don’t really have any way to prove it, do we? I suppose we’ll just have to assume that Red and I are right. Two against one.” Sitting back again, he smirked at the rage slowly rising into the deep purple eye-lights of the small skeleton.

Taking a very long, deep breath, Razz finally looked up, sighing heavily. “You’re both _wrong._ And I’ll prove it.” With that, he rose to his feet, taking another stiff breath and straightening his clothes, before marching over to Sans.

Edge shot Red a smug glance, before quickly rising to his feet and following Razz. As the Underfell brothers approached, Razz turned, glaring at them. Sans was regarding the three skeletons with amusement, chewing on the nozzle of his ketchup bottle. “well, this looks like it’s going tibia an interesting conversation. what can i do you for, gents?”

Edge rolled his eyes, but to his surprise, this only seemed to fluster Razz even further. Clearing his throat, and placing his hands on his hips, as if to steady himself, he levelled Sans’ gaze. “Red and Edge seem to be under the impression that you would not wish to date me—should I ask.”

Red shot Edge a grin, mouthing ‘pay up’, but Edge merely rolled his eyes. Sans’ grin widened, but Edge could see the dubiety in his eyes as he shot both Underfell brothers skeptical glances. “that so?”

“It is. So.” Razz looked awkward, seeming to be having a difficult time keeping eye contact with Sans. Silence reigned between the four skeletons, and Edge could tell that where Razz was starting to look very uncomfortable, Sans appeared to be trying to stifle a huge grin.

“so, you gonna ask?” Sans’ voice seemed to snap Razz out of whatever stupor he’d been in, because he blinked, his blush darkening.

“W-what?”

Sans shrugged, taking a swig of ketchup. “well, how are you gonna settle this if you don’t ask me?”

“W-well, I—” Razz fiddled with his bandana, before clearing his throat. “Very well. Sans, will you—” Razz broke off, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Will you go on a date? Um—w-with me?” Razz immediately dropped his gaze, his cheekbones glowing, hands fidgeting uncontrollably.

Sans watched Razz, humming thoughtfully for a moment. “hm, i dunno kid, it kinda feels like you’re doing this out of spite.”

Edge narrowed his eye sockets, and caught sight of Red grinning beside him. Then, to his surprise, Razz pulled himself up, huffing. “Well. Ninety percent of my important decisions have been made out of spite. It’s part of my charm.” Razz’s sudden burst of confidence seemed to falter slightly, and he quickly looked away from Sans again.

But, much to Edge’s surprise, this actually drew a chuckle from Sans—and even more astoundingly, a pale tint of blue blush. “heh, it certainly is.” Sans’ gaze drifted to Edge, who suddenly felt the scrutiny the comedian always seemed to be able to project simply through the looks he gave. Keeping his expression as placid as he could, Edge returned the look. Eventually, Sans looked away, his eyes returning to Razz. With another gulp of ketchup, and a shrug, he said, “alright. sure. let’s go on a date.”

For a moment, Razz seemed stunned, opening his mouth and closing it again when he seemed to realise he had nothing to say. Finally, he seemed to find his words again. “R-really…?” He narrowed his eye sockets slightly. “This… isn’t a joke, is it?”

Sans chuckled, shoving his hands in his jacket pocket. “nah. i’d rather sell both my kidneys than patella lie to you, kid.”

For a moment, Edge wondered if Razz was going to snap at Sans for the pun. But instead, he gave a curt nod, hooking an arm around Sans’—clearly much to the lazier skeleton’s surprise. “Very well. In that case, we ought to discuss the activities of our date.” Razz’s cheekbones were an intense shade of violet, but other than that, he seemed surprisingly composed. Edge noticed the return of faint blue to Sans’ cheeks as well, and he shot a very miffed looking Red a smirk.

As Razz strutted through the crowded living room towards the couch, Sans leaned in to whisper to Edge. “i know you and red probably took some dumb bet on this, and i’m guessing it was red who bet against the raspberry.” Edge glanced down at Sans with a raised brow bone, impressed. Sans’ gaze flicked to Red, who was still looking unendingly irritated, before turning back to Edge. “can’t deny, i’m a pretty spiteful person myself.”

“Sans!” Razz called, arms folded across his chest. “If this is to be a successful date, it requires maximum effort from _both_ parties! No fraternising with the losers.” Razz regarded Edge with a smug grin.

“You really showed us, Razz,” Edge said, dryly. Razz’s grin faded, and he glowered at Edge, before turning his attention back to Sans.

“Well, Red,” Edge said, turning to regard his brother, “I do believe you owe me some gold.” Red huffed, scowling at Edge, and kept his arms firmly crossed. “Oh come now, brother, don’t be a sore loser. It was a fair bet.”

Edge smirked at Red, who pulled a face, before glancing at Sans, wondering just how far the grinning skeleton would be willing to go just to spite Red. But upon closer inspection, Edge couldn’t help but notice how genuine the normally forced-looking smile on Sans’ face was as he watched Razz, who was talking animatedly. Mind made up, Edge turned back to his brother, crossing his arms. “Alright brother, I’ll give you another chance.”

Red’s eyes flicked up, sockets narrowed in suspicion. But Edge could tell he was intrigued, clearly not eager to give up his gold just yet. “hmm, i’ll bite. stakes?”

Edge smirked, already feeling victorious, before leaning in to whisper, “Double or nothing—they will have slept together before the end of the week.”


	9. Unsolvable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ollie-wants-outie asked: "congrats on 100 followers! (im honestly surprised you didnt reach 100 sooner with as much as i love your writing, but i digress). if the drabbles are still open then maybe “You were my first.” with honeyblossom? (us paps/ut paps). the only special request i have is ***angst***"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Honeyblossom (US Papyrus/UT Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: Angst, heartbreak
> 
> Warnings: Mild intrusive thoughts, self-blame

Papyrus scanned over the diagrams before him, trying to find the baffling solution he couldn’t quite seem to reach. He’d been working on this puzzle for around a week now, and the longer he stared at it, the less sense it seemed to make. It was beginning to frustrate him a little.

“hey paps, what’s the matter? you’re looking a little puzzled.”

Papyrus didn’t have the energy to chastise his brother for the pun. Instead, he sighed, folding the scribble-covered piece of paper. “It’s no use, Sans, I cannot find the solution!” Feeling defeated, he dropped the diagrams onto the coffee table, wondering if it was any use coming back to them.

He looked up as he felt Sans place a hand on his shoulder. His brother’s usual grin was there, but Papyrus could tell that it was forced. A dreary mood had been hanging over the Undertale brothers’ house this past week, and Papyrus couldn’t help but feel that he was to blame. “don’t worry about it, bro. you’re pretty smart, i’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Papyrus flushed slightly at the praise, but shook his head. “OF COURSE—” he cleared his throat, reminding himself of what Edge liked to call his ‘inside voice’. “Of course I am, Sans. But sometimes, I feel that even my genius is no match for some puzzles.”

Sans’ grin faded slightly, and just as he seemed about to respond, there was a knock on the door. Papyrus immediately leapt up, straightening his battle body. “I’LL GET IT,” he said, with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm. Sans shrugged, flopping down on the couch and flicking on the TV. Tutting at his brother’s laziness, Papyrus marched over to the front door, swinging it open. “BLUE, HOW LOVELY TO—oh… Stretch, h-hi.”

Blue grinned cheerfully at Papyrus, wrapping his arms around the taller skeleton’s waist in a tight embrace. “Papyrus! We didn’t realise you would be here, how wonderful!” Papyrus tried to gather the will to return Blue’s hug, but a lump had formed in his throat the moment his had gaze landed on Stretch.

His lazier alternate was slouching a little more than normal, his hoodie pulled up over his skull. There was an almost unnatural pallor to his cheekbones, and he seemed to be avoiding Papyrus’ gaze. “thought you had training with undyne,” he muttered.

Papyrus nodded, adjusting his scarf uncomfortably as Blue released him, glancing between Papyrus and his brother with concern. “I—yes, I did… it got cancelled.”

“oh,” was all Stretch said, before pushing past Papyrus into the living room, dropping down beside Sans on the sofa. Papyrus felt his soul sink in his chest as he watched him. There was a weariness about the normally relaxed skeleton that Papyrus harboured a strong dislike for.

He glanced down at Blue, trying to force a smile as he guided the small skeleton inside. “Well, I’m happy you’re here, Papyrus,” Blue said, beaming up at him. “And Papy…” Blue glanced at his brother, his smile faltering slightly.

“How has he been?” Papyrus asked, his voice unusually faint.

“It has only been a week,” Blue said, somberly. “It’ll take time, but I’m sure he’ll be okay!” Papyrus nodded weakly, but he found himself struggling to take Blue’s words to heart, his soul feeling heavy in his ribcage. Seeming to sense his friend’s discomfort, Blue took a hold of Papyrus’ hand, tugging him towards the kitchen. “Come! How about we get started on dinner before the others arrive.”

Papyrus obliged, but he couldn’t stop his gaze from flickering back to Stretch before disappearing into the kitchen. The look on the other skeleton’s face sent waves of guilt through him, and he suddenly felt a lot less enthused for the night to come.

 

****

 

“Papy, you’ve barely touched your food…”

Stretch brushed off Blue’s comment with an indifferent wave of his hand. “sorry bro, it’s good, i just… don’t really have the stomach for it.” Almost on instinct, Papyrus opened his mouth to scold Stretch for the pun, but immediately snapped it closed upon remembering that it wasn’t really his place anymore. Much to his relief, the other three younger brothers sitting at the table groaned slightly, sparing him the need to express his own disdain. ~~Although in truth, Papyrus had found himself missing Stretch’s puns this past week.~~

“Well, Blue, this really isn’t bad,” Edge said, taking a small bite of the lasagne. “Exquisite use of seasoning.”

Blue flushed slightly, a small smile creeping onto his face. But he shook his head. “Well, I can’t take all the credit—Papyrus did an awful lot of work.”

Edge glanced up at Papyrus, who felt a twinge of guilt upon seeing the sympathy in his expression. Papyrus didn’t like being responsible for dampening the moods of others, so he cleared his throat, nodding. “WELL, I—I helped a bit.” His words trailed off into something akin to mumbling, and he was grateful when Edge smiled, before turning his attention away from him.

One of the things Papyrus liked most about his own alternates, was their ability to understand when he was feeling uncomfortable—a talent the Sanses didn’t quite seem to possess. As if on cue, Razz turned to Stretch, a sly grin on his face. “So, how have you been holding up then?” Coming from anyone else, Papyrus might have thought the question had been asked out of sympathy for Stretch, but considering it was Razz, he knew better.

Stretch was silent for a moment, before shaking his head. “i’d honestly rather not—”

“I imagine it didn’t take long for you to get back in the saddle—you never were shy.” Papyrus stared at Razz in bewilderment. The expression on Stretch’s face was strained, as if he was struggling to hold it together. Razz glanced up at Papyrus, looking almost vindictive, before turning back to Stretch. “Out of curiosity, how many was it before you and the creampuff started boning each other? Where did he fall on your,” Razz smirked, “ _extensive_ list?”

Papyrus suddenly noticed that the whole table had gone silent, the gazes of the five other skeletons all fixed on Razz and Stretch. Papyrus’ soul ached, and he wished more than anything that he could say something to silence the smaller skeleton—but he knew it would only make Stretch feel even worse. “razz…” Stretch’s voice was small, and he sounded tired. “i really don’t want to talk about this.”

Razz rolled his eyes, huffing in irritation. “Oh, come on. You two have been eye fucking each other all evening. If you’re going to make us all put up with it, then the least you could do is admit that you’re still—”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Papyrus said, firmly, no longer able to restrain himself. He somehow managed to keep his voice low, while still injecting a significant amount of conviction into it. Razz finally fell silent, looking up at Papyrus with a bored expression. But Papyrus barely spared him a glance, his attention entirely focused on Stretch. His insides seemed to shrivel as the tell-tale signs of tears began to form at Stretch’s eye sockets.

He’d been avoiding Papyrus’ gaze all night, but finally, he looked up, and Papyrus felt as if he could see the exact moment when his composure cracked. “i—i’m sorry, i have to go—” Stretch’s voice seemed to break as he rose from his seat, hurrying out of the kitchen before anyone could stop him. Papyrus heard the front door slamming a few moments later.

He felt glued to his seat for a moment, a sick pit forming in his chest. Guilt washed over him, and he didn’t dare look up, not wanting to see the pity in the other monsters’ eyes. Eventually, Blue sighed, standing. “I should go talk to him,” he mumbled, heading for the door.

Papyrus quickly jumped up, following him. “No—wait. I… I should go,” he said, placing a hand on Blue’s shoulder.

Blue glanced at him, shaking his head. “It’s fine, Papyrus, he’s my brother, I should—”

“N-no.” Papyrus straightened his scarf, pulling himself up. “No,” he repeated, with a little more certitude. “I’m the one who broke his heart, I should be the one to fix it.” Papyrus didn’t wait for Blue to respond, not feeling quite up to arguing with the small skeleton. He paused for only a moment after exiting the kitchen, the sound of voices slowly picking up again. He felt ashamed. He hated being the one responsible for that uncomfortable silence—that hesitance to speak of happy things, as if they might upset him.

Resolutely, he began to mentally build himself up, before heading for the front door. He found Stretch sitting on the front porch steps, head resting on his knees as he gazed out into the slowly falling snow. Taking a deep breath, Papyrus dropped down beside him, catching sight of small tears trickling down Stretch’s cheekbones. “H-hello, Lazy Me—um, Stretch.”

Stretch glanced up at Papyrus briefly, before nodding his acknowledgement. Papyrus felt uncomfortable. He’d never been very good at handling these types of situations. Comforting people wasn’t his forte, and while he was more than glad to offer words of encouragement from time to time, that didn’t feel very appropriate at the moment. So instead, he carefully reached out an arm, placing it around Stretch’s shoulders—he was certain he’d seen people do this in some of Undyne’s animes.

Somehow, this seemed to trigger something within Stretch, because he immediately broke down, a shaky gasp escaping him, before he slowly devolved into sobs. He buried his head in Papyrus’ chest, clutching onto his scarf as he cried. “Oh—oh no, please don’t cry, Stretch,” Papyrus said, rubbing his hand over his alternate’s back. “I’m sorry—I’m… I’m so sorry, tell me how to make it better, I’ll—”

Stretch shook his head, and Papyrus was surprised when he heard a soft laugh between the whimpers. “oh—oh geez no, p-paps you—you haven’t d-done anything wrong…”

“Then why are you so upset? Was it Razz? You shouldn’t listen to such things, Stretch! I don’t think he’s quite yet learned the etiquette of—”

Again, Stretch chuckled quietly, his breath hitching. “nah, it’s—well, s-sort of, i just…” He trailed off, looking up at Papyrus. Fresh tears began to form at the corners of his eye sockets, and he released a heavy breath, shaking his head. “i—i want you to know that—” He broke off, hands forming fists around Papyrus’ scarf.

Papyrus ran a soothing hand over his spine, wishing he knew how to make this better. “It’s okay, Stretch. You can tell me anything. I’m your friend.”

Again, Stretch shook his head. “ah—stars pap, you’re killing me here. i—” His breaths were heavy, shaking slightly as he tried to stifle his sobs. “you were my first, papyrus. you were my first, and i…” Stretch gasped, struggling against the tears. “and i’m still in love with you.” He pressed a hand over his mouth, quickly pulling away. “i—i’m sorry, paps—fuck, i—i’m so sorry, you don’t need this, i’m being stupid, i—”

Papyrus hastily shook his head, wrapping his arms around Stretch again. “Don’t be sorry, Stretch. Don’t apologise. You are still my very great friend.” Papyrus’ soul stung at Stretch’s confession. He had been Stretch’s first. And to him, it had almost meant nothing. While he had long battled with his feelings for his lazier alternate, becoming swept up in the romance, he had soon come to realise that what he felt for Stretch was nothing more than platonic. In fact, if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t quite sure he’d ever felt that sort of attraction to anyone.

He sighed, resting his skull atop Stretch’s as his friend sobbed against him. He felt guilty. He felt blameworthy. This was his fault. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to become so enraptured by their relationship—he shouldn’t have allowed Stretch’s feelings for him to have become so intense. He’d led him on, allowing him to believe that they could ever be anything more than friends.

And now, like a puzzle without a solution, he couldn’t fix it.


	10. This counts as exercise, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Megalotrashy asked: "Edgepuff, 37? <3"
> 
> Prompt: “Ugh, you’re doing it wrong—here, let me show you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Edgepuff (UT Papyrus/UF Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: Fluff, friendly competition, somewhat over-competitive Edge, the Sanses are lazybones
> 
> Warnings: None

“EDGY ME, HELLO!”

Edge flinched as Papyrus threw his arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Tensing slightly, he did his best not to grimace as he slowly pried Papyrus off him. “Hello Papyrus.” Edge glanced over Papyrus’ shoulder. “Sans.” The shorter skeleton shot him a grin, before shuffling past him into the living room. Edge watched him go before ushering Papyrus inside and leaning in to murmur, “I assume you’re ready to wipe the floor with our brothers?”

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically, a wide grin on his face. “YES, OF COURSE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS BORN READY! WE WILL MAKE THEM REGRET THE DAY THEY—”

“Yes, yes, alright,” Edge muttered, quickly taking a hold of Papyrus’ arm and dragging him into the kitchen. He closed the door behind him to give them some privacy before speaking. “We have a… slight problem.”

Papyrus’ grin faltered a little, but his enthusiasm didn’t seem dampened. “WHAT SORT OF PROB—” He broke off as Edge hushed him, nodding in the direction of the living room. “Um, what sort of a problem, Edgy Me? Surely nothing the two Greatest of the Papyruses can’t handle!”

Edge hummed, frowning. “That remains to be seen,” he muttered, mostly to himself. Papyrus regarded him quizzically, and Edge shook his head, grimacing. “Have you ever played Wii Sports, Papyrus?”

This time, the smile plastered across Papyrus’ face really did fade—almost into a frown, something Edge wasn’t accustomed to on the bright skeleton’s face. “That infernal television video game our brothers are always wasting time on?” He sighed, looking aggrieved. “When I heard that Sans was playing a sport related game, I made the mistake of getting my hopes up—I was severely disappointed. No, I can’t say I have strayed near that ridiculous device, Edgy Me.” Papyrus seemed almost offended at the very idea. That wasn’t a good sign. Seeming to sense Edge’s worry, he frowned. “Why… are you asking?”

Edge released a weary sigh. “We are no longer challenging our brothers to a board game, Papyrus.” Frowning, he added, “They seemed to be under the impression that such an activity would give us an unfair advantage, given our natural prowess at…” he coughed, “more intellectually based challenges.”

“Hmm, I see…” Papyrus looked thoughtful. “Well, I suppose that is true—you and I are rather well equipped in the mental department!”

Edge smiled, nodding. “We certainly are. I’ve managed to convince my lazybones brother to allow you a few practice rounds on the Wii before we begin the proper challenge.”

Papyrus scoffed loudly, giving a wave of his hand. “PRACTICE? THE GREAT PAPYRUS HARDLY NEEDS—” Seeing the hard, deliberate look Edge was giving him, Papyrus quickly nodded, clearing his throat. “But of course—I suppose it would be bad sportsmanship to turn down such a generous offer. Very well! We shall practice at this sporting activity!”

“Well, um,” Edge’s eyes darted away from Papyrus, and he shifted between his feet, feeling a little awkward. “It’ll just be you practicing. I… should be alright without it.”

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets in suspicion, folding his arms. “Edgy Me, while I understand that you and I both possess copious amounts of natural talent, we should really take advantage of—”

“Well, no, that’s not it,” Edge said, quickly. He felt a little embarrassed to admit it, but he’d spent most of last night learning every technique he could in the various sporting options available on his brother’s device. “I… practiced earlier,” he confessed, deciding to leave out the detail of just how much time he’d spent practicing.

“Oh.” Papyrus nodded, seeming satisfied. “Very well then, perhaps we should proceed to the aforementioned _FLOOR WIPING.”_ Papyrus’ voice increased in volume, and Edge couldn’t help but smile slightly at the renewed excitement sparkling in his eyes.

Naturally, both their brothers were lounging on the sofa when they re-entered the living room. Edge regarded them disdainfully. “Have you two lazybones even bothered picking a sport yet?”

Red shrugged, not moving from his seat. “nah, figured we’d let you do it, boss.”

Edge frowned, emanating contempt. “The easiest task imaginable and you still leave it to us. How typical.”

Sans waved his hand in nonchalance. “eh, losers pick. we’re just being good sports. hehe.” Edge rolled his eyes at the weak pun, but proceeded to load the game nonetheless. He handed Papyrus one of the remotes, ensuring he fastened the safety strap before turning away. While Edge was fond of Papyrus’ enthusiasm, he himself had come a little too close to leaving a hole in the TV screen last night due to his own… passion.

Edge scrolled through the options, pausing as he considered his strategy. Behind him, he heard Red give a throaty chuckle. “heh, just pick one, boss. doesn’t matter. we’re gonna beat ya no matter what.”

Narrowing his eye sockets and acknowledging his brother with little more than a cold glare, Edge selected tennis. He had to admit, during his immense… dabbling, tennis had certainly been his strong suit. While he was tempted to opt for boxing—simply to give himself an outlet for his temper should this go downhill—he figured it might not be the best starter for Papyrus.

“hey, toss our remotes over here, won’t you, paps?” Sans asked, glancing at his brother.

Papyrus frowned, his expression disapproving as he regarded Sans. “Isn’t the point of the game to get off that lazy coccyx of yours and do some exercise, brother?”

Sans pulled a face, giving a careless wave of his hand. “nah, the point is to win, bro. now give us those remotes, otherwise there isn’t even a remote chance of us winning.”

Papyrus looked conflicted for a moment, his eye sockets narrowing at the grin that spread across Sans’ face. But eventually, he caved, handing the two lazy skeletons their remotes with a laboured sigh. He turned to Edge, shaking his head. “Edgy Me, if we lose this, I will be very disappointed in us.”

Edge gave Papyrus a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I can assure you, we won’t lose.”

Unfortunately however, it seemed that Papyrus didn’t quite have Edge’s natural affinity for the computerised tennis game. During his short practice, he missed almost all his serves, hit the net several times, and even succeeded in dropping his remote (despite the safety strap). Edge observed him, feeling more and more frustrated by the minute. Papyrus attempted another swing at the ball, this time missing it entirely.

Eventually, Edge decided he couldn’t take it anymore, and rose from his seat, coming up behind Papyrus (narrowly avoiding another wild swing of his remote). “Ugh, stop— _stop_. You’re doing it wrong—here,” Edge took a hold of Papyrus’ hand, guiding the remote, “let me show you.” Papyrus turned to look at him, a hint of alarm crossing his features. But Edge simply nodded in the direction of the screen. “Don’t focus on me, focus on your movements. They’re too stiff. You need to be more fluid. Like this.”

His hand still clasped over Papyrus’ on the remote, Edge braced his other on Papyrus’ ribs, guiding him in a long, slow swing. Papyrus had gone strangely rigid. “Relax,” Edge murmured. “It’ll be a lot easier if you do.” The other skeleton quickly nodded, allowing his shoulders to drop slightly, and—much to Edge’s surprise—leaning right back against him. “Uh…” Edge felt himself blushing slightly, and he suddenly caught sight of his brother grinning at him. He shot Edge a wink as their eyes met, earning him a sharp stare in return.

“I did it!” Papyrus cried, and Edge’s gaze quickly snapped back to the screen in time to see the ball landing successfully in the court. He hurriedly withdrew from Papyrus, realising there was certainly no need for him to still be standing so close.

“wow paps, you’re a natural,” Sans said, grinning at his brother.

Papyrus scoffed, shaking his head, but Edge could see how pleased he was beneath the façade. “WELL, OF COURSE I AM, BROTHER. NOTHING IS A CHALLENGE FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS—NOT EVEN THIS FOOLISH TELEVISION GAME OF TENNIS.”

Edge glanced at Sans, a brow bone raised in dubiety. But the shorter skeleton gave him a warning look, a faint hint of magic prickling in his right eye socket. Rolling his eyes, Edge turned back to Papyrus, his soul slumping slightly upon seeing that he’d begun to struggle again. “Um, that’s good, Papyrus. Very good,” he muttered, his cheekbones still burning from their recent proximity. Clearing his throat, and very deliberately avoiding Sans and Red’s grins, he picked his own remote up off the table. “Very well, I think that’s enough practice. Sans. Red. Get up and prepare to lose!”

Much to both Edge and Papyrus’ disappointment, their brothers neither got up nor lost. In fact, Edge and Papyrus barely managed to scrape a couple of points off them—despite putting in their very best effort. When the final point was won, Sans grinned, rising from the couch and stretching. “welp. all that exercise really took it outta me. think i’m gonna head home and take a nap.”

Edge glowered at him, feeling frustrated by the fact that he’d chosen the moment the game had finished to finally rise from his seat. When he was gone, Red also hoisted himself up, shooting his brother a grin. “hmm, you know what bro? i think we should discuss a forfeit.”

“No forfeits this time, brother,” Edge said, scowling at Red. “The punishment of losing to you is the shame.” Edge caught sight of Papyrus grimacing slightly out of the corner of his eye, and he suddenly felt guilty. He turned back to Red, crossing his arms. “Perhaps next time—once every participant has had a _fair_ amount of practice—we’ll raise the stakes a little.”

“heh, yeah boss, i’m sure ya wouldn’t mind a little more _practice.”_ Red winked, gaze flicking to Papyrus, and Edge glared at him, despite the sudden rush of heat to his cheekbones. Shrugging, Red yawned. “ha, well. think i’m gonna follow sans’ advice and take a nap. i’ve sure earned it.”

Before Edge could protest, Red had popped out of the room, leaving Edge alone with Papyrus. He turned to the uncharacteristically quiet skeleton, his soul clenching slightly at the sight of the downtrodden look on Papyrus’ face. “Don’t worry, Papyrus,” he said, hesitantly placing a hand on his alternate’s shoulder, “I’m certain we’ll be victorious next time.”

Papyrus still looked unhappy, his gaze fixed on the carpet. “Edge…” he said, slowly looking up. “Did I… did I let us down?”

Edge felt as if he’d been struck in the chest, guilt wracking him. Almost on instinct, he reached out, taking both of Papyrus’ hands in his own. “N-no—no, of course you didn’t! I think… I think perhaps you could just use a little more practice. And—and I’m more than happy to help.”

Almost instantaneously, Papyrus’ expression lightened, his usual grin returning to his face. “Really? THAT’S EXCELLENT.” He took a step closer, and Edge felt his eyes go wide as one of Papyrus’ hands crept to his waist. “Because I definitely think I could use a few more demonstrations, Edge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek! I'm sorry, I haven't updated here in a while. I still have a fair few of these to post from my tumblr, I've just been neglecting them. Mostly, I just don't have the energy to construct creative titles hehe. I hope you all enjoy the remainder of these!


	11. Just Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Messedupessy asked: "Sup ali (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) first just want to say thank you for almost always reblogging my stuff, it makes me so happy when you do and also that you are awesome and your writing so good, gonna try to read more of it soon, congrats on the followers u deserve them and more! for the drabble request thing, could i maybe get some HoneyKetchup in either 50, 24 or 38? wants it to be funny, fluffy, and them been just joking dorks, nsfw is ok but not a must and i'm a sucker for sleepy cuddles :D hope this is ok"
> 
> Prompt: “Ah. There seems to be only one bed…”
> 
> I actually got another request for this prompt with a different pairing as well, but... I just couldn't resist doing it twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Honeyketchup (US Papyrus/UT Sans)
> 
> Tags: Puns, mild flirting, puns, suggestive content, PUNS. (They're so bad though, I apologise in advance)
> 
> Warnings: None (there is a brief moment of questionable consent, but it's quickly acquired)

The cab driver seemed more than grateful to see Sans and Stretch go as they clambered from the vehicle. Stretch was fairly certain the third “cab we please pull over? i gotta hit the can,” had been the tipping point, but in truth, he’d seemed pretty miffed with them from the start.

“heh, think we might have driven him a little crazy,” Sans said, chuckling as they approached the large hotel doors.

“yeah,” Stretch agreed, grinning. “we might wanna steer clear of that guy for a while.”

Sans returned his smile, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dirty jacket as they entered the hotel’s lobby. Stretch had to admit, he felt a little out of place in the extravagant hall, wearing nothing but his usual hoodie, shorts and sneakers. A small glance at Sans told him that the shorter skeleton didn’t seem to share his anxieties, a relaxed grin on his face. Almost as if he could sense Stretch’s apprehension, Sans looked up, shaking his head. “bit over the top, isn’t it?”

Stretch smirked, cocking a brow bone. “everything’s over the top for you though, isn’t it? hehe.”

Sans regarded him for a moment, his grin turning dark as his eye-lights shrunk. “hey, i love you man, but a short joke? low blow.”

Stretch tried to pass of the small noise of surprise that escaped him as a laugh, quickly looking away to conceal the faint tinge of magic in his cheekbones. Sans had meant that in a… _friendly_ way, of course. Friends could love each other. That’s definitely what he’d meant. Stretch tried not to feel disappointed at the thought.

It was only once they’d collected their key from reception, and were standing outside their room that Stretch began to feel nervous. The clerk had informed them that they wouldn’t be able to check into the second room until their brothers arrived, since it was under Papyrus’ name. Which meant that Stretch would be sharing a room with Sans for the night. Which was fine—of course. There was no reason to feel uncomfortable about sharing a room with your… friend.

When the door swung open however, Stretch felt his soul go cold.

“ah,” Sans said, casting a glance over the room, “there seems to be only one bed.”

Stretch swallowed, nodding stiffly as he hurriedly entered the room, making sure Sans couldn’t see his face, lest he notice the heated magic on his cheekbones. “right, um… that’s fine,” Stretch said, dropping his bag onto the large armchair. “i’ll just take the floor.”

He almost jumped as he felt Sans placing a hand on his shoulder, chuckling as he gave it a reassuring pat. “hehe, don’t be ridiculous dude. it’s a big enough bed, we can share.”

Stretch’s soul flipped in his chest, and he felt a little too stunned to brush Sans’ hand away. “oh, but—”

“nothing wrong with two pals sharing a bed. promise to keep my hands to myself.” Sans winked, and Stretch felt certain his cheeks must be alight with how hot he suddenly felt.

Still, he did his best not to let his embarrassment show, nodding quickly and swallowing against the magic that threatened to take shape in his mouth. “uh. yeah. right. obviously.” The words felt stiff, and he cleared his throat, giving a shaky laugh. “i’ll try not to rib anything up against you either.”

Sans was silent for a moment, and Stretch suddenly feared he’d crossed a line. But to his relief, the skeleton simply chuckled, clapping him gently on the back. “yeah. i’ll try not to get under your skin.” He leaned in, and Stretch drew in a sharp breath as Sans’ hand brushed against his hip in a way that _couldn’t_ be accidental. A sly grin crossed the shorter skeleton’s face, and he chuckled softly before adding, “or your pants,” under his breath. Stretch remained utterly still for a moment, not daring to look away as Sans held his gaze, his eye-lights flickering slightly. Then, with a chuckle, Sans turned away, shoving his hands back in his pockets and unpacking his bag.

Stretch was already certain he wouldn’t survive the night.

 

A few hours later—and after much procrastination on Stretch’s part—he climbed into bed beside Sans, who glanced up at him. “heya bud, how was the shower?”

“cold,” Stretch said stiffly, neglecting to mention that he’d kept the temperature low deliberately. It hadn’t helped much, heated magic still flickering through him steadily.

“sorry to hear that,” Sans said, and Stretch had to resist flinching as he shuffled closer. “i _cold_ warm up those bones for you, if you like?”

Stretch blinked in shock, staring at Sans. It took him a moment to realise that he was joking, his casual grin not faltering as he waited for Stretch to catch on. Trying to regather his wits, Stretch laughed, shaking his head. “nah, don’t sweat it.” He looked away, quickly switching off the light beside the bed in an attempt to hide his blush. “uh, night.”

He could still feel Sans’ gaze on him, pale eye-lights almost visible in the darkness. After what felt like an eternity to Stretch’s racing soul, Sans shifted under the covers, turning away. “heh, yeah. night, bud.” After only a few minutes of silence, Sans’ breaths deepened, the only sound interrupting the quiet of their room. Stretch soon followed suit, though his slumber was restless, his magic still refusing to settle.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been in his semi-conscious state when he felt Sans’ arms creeping around his waist, but he immediately snapped awake, tensing as Sans shifted to press against his back. He felt frozen as Sans nuzzled against his neck, his soft breaths light against Stretch’s vertebrae. “s-sans,” Stretch whispered. “sans, wake up, you—”

“mm, ‘m awake, pal.”

Stretch tensed, his soul stuttering against his ribcage in muted shock. If Sans was awake then… there was no way this was an accident. Magic flooded his mouth, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t dispel it, excitement buzzing through him. Sans hummed, tightening his arms as his fingers began to trail gently over Stretch’s ribs. “’s alright, buddy. nothing weird about two friends cuddling, yeah? just… heh, _cuddle’nt_ resist.”

Stretch was too awestruck to respond to the pun. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t relax into Sans’ arms. His anxiety must have translated through the stiff set of his shoulders, because Sans immediately halted his ministrations, drawing away slightly. “hey, sorry man—you want me to stop?” Stretch tried to respond, but he couldn’t seem to find his words. He must have been silent for a beat too long, because Sans quickly pulled away, muttering a curse under his breath. “ah, shit—i’m sorry, stretch, i uh… i shouldn’t’ve done that. i was just being an idiot, i—”

“n-no, sans…” Stretch turned over to face Sans, whose usual grin was missing from his face, his cheekbones tinged in slight embarrassment. “it’s… fine.” He smiled, feeling own his cheeks turning a pale shade of gold as he shuffled slightly closer. “i… i don’t mind if you wanna cuddle. you know—a-as friends.” Stretch had to force himself to tack on the last bit, wishing he didn’t have to.

Still, he was grateful to see the relief that crossed Sans’ features, the grin returning to his face. He shifted forward, still seeming hesitant as he reached an arm out to loop around Stretch. “you sure? i wasn’t trying to pressure you or anything, i just—”

“yeah,” Stretch said quickly, grinning. “i’m _pres_ sure _._ ”

Sans’ eye-lights brightened, and he released a low chuckle as he pulled Stretch against him, resting his head on his shoulder. “heh. you’re way too cool, stretch.”

Stretch’s soul glowed, and he buried his face in the nape of Sans’ neck, unable to hide his own broad grin. Sans’ sturdy arms felt warm around him, and Stretch suddenly found it easy to relax, his eyes falling closed. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Sans smoothing his hands down Stretch’s spine, until suddenly, he said, “hey stretch. do friends ever, uh… kiss each other?”

Stretch stilled for a moment, and he felt Sans do the same, clearly nervously anticipating Stretch’s answer. Once again, Stretch found himself smiling, a small laugh building in his chest. “heh, well… why don’t we find out?” He drew away slightly to meet Sans’ gaze, a deep cyan blush colouring the other monster’s cheekbones.

Sans leaned forward, hesitating for only a moment as he looked Stretch in the eye, as if searching for any sign of reluctance. Finding none, he pressed forward, their mouths connecting in a soft kiss. Stretch’s breath hitched, and he grazed his fingers over the back of Sans’ neck, sighing at the feeling of Sans’ tongue swiping across his teeth. The second he opened his mouth, Sans’ magic glided over his own, the sensation sending tingles through him.

He drew away for a moment to gasp as Sans’ fingers curled around his iliac crest, rubbing slow circles over the smooth bone. Stretch kissed him again, a small noise of contentment escaping him as Sans hooked a finger beneath the waistband of his pants. He wrapped one his legs around Sans’ waist, trying to create more friction between them. It was only when Sans’ hand dipped just a little too far down Stretch’s ilium that he drew away abruptly. “uh, i think—as friends—maybe we should… slow down?” he suggested, grinning as he caught his breath.

Sans immediately withdrew, nodding and running a hand over the back of his skull. “uh. shit, you’re right, yeah. don’t want this friend _ship_ to sail too fast, huh?”

Stretch grinned, shaking his head. “nah, but…” He leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to Sans’ cheek. “i can’t wait to _sea_ where it goes.”


	12. (No) Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shosia asked: "Hi! Congratulations for your milestone! :3 May I ask a 28, spicyhoney, please? I am kinda imagining Stretch asking this out of the blue, pretending not to be serious, but actually being serious and needing a bit of reassurance from the big scary edgelord. *No* alcohol involved, tho. Eheh. ;) Thank you!"
> 
> Prompt: "Be honest, do you like me?" “We’re married.”
> 
> Rhody asked for this one too! It works well for these two (much to their misfortune).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Spicyhoney (UF Papyrus/US Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: Angst, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt with no comfort, not quite a happy ending
> 
> Warnings: Mild self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy

Edge released a weary sigh as he fumbled slightly with the keys in the front door. It had been a long day—a _very_ long, tiresome day. His patrols were becoming more and more demanding with the rising dissent between the public and the Crown. Trying to shake off any lingering thoughts of work, Edge pushed open the door, making sure to lock it behind him before discarding his keys and pulling off his armour.

His gaze fell on the living room sofa, and his soul immediately warmed. His husband, Stretch, was sprawled across it, fast asleep, the TV still playing in front of him. Edge was grateful that he’d tried to wait up for him, but he knew the lazier skeleton often lacked the stamina required for long nights.

Not bothering to fight back the small smile that curled the corners of his mouth, Edge flicked the TV off, before gently lifting Stretch from the sofa and carrying him upstairs. The way Stretch almost immediately reacted to his touch, curling against him, rapidly sped up the process of wiping the troubles of Edge’s job from his mind.

Despite being married, it was seldom that Edge and Stretch got to spend much time together. After many fights and long arguments, they’d come to the (somewhat reluctant, on Stretch’s part) agreement that it would be far too dangerous for Stretch to come live with Edge here. And Edge refused to abandon his brother in a place like this. So, they lived in their separate worlds. It was difficult, but having Stretch stay the occasional night like this was a welcome relief from the everyday burdens of the world outside.

After gently placing Stretch beneath the covers of their (mostly) shared bed, Edge quickly changed, before joining Stretch in the cozy warmth of the sheets. Pressing his chest against Stretch’s back, and wrapping his arms tightly around him, Edge closed his eyes, more than ready to fall asleep and forget the day.

His plans were immediately halted when he felt Stretch stir in his arms, shuffling slightly and turning his head to look at Edge. “you came home,” Stretch murmured, groggily.

Edge nodded, pressing a light skeleton kiss to the back of his neck. “Of course I did. Now go back to sleep.”

Stretch hummed quietly, shifting so that their bodies were pressed closer together. “thank you,” he whispered. A small prickle of sorrow settled in Edge’s soul. He knew how much Stretch hated it when he left, day after day, never knowing what state he would return in (if he returned at all). For months, he’d tried to convince Edge to come and live with him, but it had been a futile argument. Edge would never leave his brother—or his world for that matter.

But, rather than acknowledge the somber mood, Edge simply nodded, before allowing his eyes to fall closed again. However, for the second time that night, Stretch shifted, turning all the way round this time to face Edge, who sighed, feeling tired. “I assume sleep isn’t on the agenda for tonight?” he asked, raising a brow bone. Stretch smirked, but Edge could tell that it was forced—something was clearly bothering him. “Alright, what is it?” he asked, giving Stretch a steady look.

Stretch shook his head, chuckling weakly. “i think you’re supposed to ask me about the matter baby.”

Edge narrowed his eye sockets, scrutinising the faint smirk on Stretch’s face. “The… matter baby?”

“nothing. what’s the matter with—wait.”

Edge chuckled, cupping Stretch’s face. “Nyeh heh. I’ve known you too long to fall into weak traps like that,” he said, and Stretch rolled his eyes, pouting slightly.

“well. fuck me.”

Edge observed Stretch dubiously. “Fuck me? That’s the best you can do?”

Stretch grinned. “i can do a lot better than just fuck you, edgelord, you know that.”

Edge held Stretch’s gaze for a moment, completely deadpan. Then he sighed, taking one of Stretch’s hands beneath the covers. “I know you’re trying to avoid my question. Tell me, what’s bothering you?”

Stretch shook his head, eyes flickering away from Edge. “it’s nothing. don’t worry about it.”

Edge knew he was the last person to be critical about not opening up, but he also knew it would do no good to ignore this. Stretch wasn’t quite as subtle as Edge was when it came to hiding his emotions—his preferred mode of deflection being poor attempts at joking. So, gently lifting Stretch’s fingers to his teeth, and placing a small kiss on the back of them, he said, “We’re supposed to be honest with each other, you know.”

Stretch sighed, sounding resigned. “okay, you want honesty? so, be honest with me for a minute. do you like me?”

Edge regarded Stretch with bemusement. “We’re married, Stretch. I think my feelings on the matter are pretty clear.” Edge’s tone was sarcastic, but the lack of humour in Stretch’s eyes was disconcerting.

“shit, edge, um…” Stretch was suddenly looking very uncomfortable, shifting slightly where he was still wrapped in Edge’s arms. “alright, look—you know i’m not exactly one to spill my guts—heh.” Edge almost rolled his eyes at the pun, but quickly gathered his composure, reminding himself that the irritating jokes were merely a cover for whatever grim feelings Stretch was trying to hide. Seeming to realise that Edge wasn’t going to deign him with so much as a grumble, Stretch cleared his throat, continuing. “i, um… i’ve been feeling a bit like you…” Stretch sighed, seeming to concede. “like you don’t want me around.”

Edge was genuinely stunned by the confession, and for a moment, he was speechless, blinking. “I—what brought this on? Of course I want you around!” he said, a little exasperated.

Stretch laughed, but the sound was devoid of any real humour, leaving a pit of discomfort in Edge’s soul. “really? ‘cause sometimes it feels an awful lot like you don’t.” Shaking his head, Stretch sighed, the false smile slipping from his face. “i just mean, i… i love you. and—and i know you love me too, it’s just…” Edge could tell Stretch was struggling to maintain the façade of nonchalance he so often projected, and he gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Tell me,” he said, quietly.

Swallowing heavily, Stretch finally looked up, and Edge’s soul wilted at the sight of the tears beginning to form in his eye sockets. “why—why don’t you want to live with me, edge?” His voice was very small, as if he was struggling to get the words out.

Edge frowned, looking away. They’d had this conversation a million times, and he hated it with every ounce of his being. It forced him to think of reality, when all he wanted to do when he was around Stretch was let go, and pretend that reality didn’t exist. “It’s… not that easy, Stretch—we’ve been over this. You know I can’t leave my—”

“well—red could come live with us,” Stretch offered. Guilt blossomed in Edge’s soul at the almost pleading tone to Stretch’s voice. “i mean—it’s not that difficult, edge. i don’t understand why you insist on staying in this—this shithole anyway. does it have something to do with me? am i—am i not good enough?”

There was a desperation to Stretch’s voice that told Edge he was struggling to hold it together. The guilt within him grew, and he bit down against the heavy lump in his throat. “Look, Stretch—I love you. I love being around you—you’re my escape, and I can’t—” Edge broke off, clutching tightly onto Stretch’s hands and meeting his eye. The gently falling tears there certainly didn’t help Edge’s crumbling will to keep this up. “But you need to understand that this isn’t about you,” he continued, doing his best to keep his voice even. “This isn’t even just about my brother—it’s about all the monsters here. I can’t just abandon them; they need me.”

_“i_ need you,” Stretch choked, a sudden sob escaping him. His tight grip on Edge’s hands was enough to give away the fact that he no longer had his emotions under control. “edge, you have no idea how important you are to me—you have _no_ idea. and i—i can’t keep living my life day to day, wondering if you’re going to come home or not. i can’t wake up to an empty bed in the morning, wondering if it’s because you’ve run off somewhere and gotten yourself—” Stretch gasped, the unspoken word lingering gravely in the air.

Edge could only pull him against his chest as he sobbed, knowing that nothing he could say would make it better. “It’s… It’s alright,” Edge soothed, the words feeling empty even as they left his mouth. “I… I’m sorry, Stretch. I’m—I’m so sorry.” Edge’s own voice cracked, and he pressed himself against Stretch, as if his closeness might quell the despair in Edge’s soul.

He allowed Stretch to cry himself to sleep, head still buried in his chest. This argument was ongoing, but Edge had never seen Stretch break down so completely over it. The gloom within him hung heavy over his soul, and he struggled to find sleep, even hours after Stretch had drifted off.

So much for escaping the troubles of the outside world.


	13. Did I forget to mention that this was a date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rhodyskele95 asked: "47, Spicyhoney/ Kedgeup"
> 
> Since I write a shit ton of spicyhoney already, I decided to go with kedgeup for this one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Kedgeup (UT Sans/UF Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: flirting, mild sexual content, tsundere Edge, Sans is sly
> 
> Warnings: None

Edge took a deep breath, trying to gather his confidence before pushing open the doors to the bar. It was crowded inside, the musty smell of old wood and beer lingering in the air. Trying not to pull a face, he pushed through the throngs of people, scanning over the room. His soul did a small leap in his chest as his gaze landed on Sans, who glanced up as if sensing Edge’s eyes on him, a wide grin spreading across his face. Despite himself, Edge struggled to push back a small smile of his own as he hurried over to the other skeleton.

He was a little disappointed to see that Sans hadn’t bothered to change out of his normal stained jacket and dirty sneakers—Edge had spent hours trying to pick out an appropriate outfit, the worry that Sans would disapprove of his appearance plaguing his mind. Though seeing Sans now, Fell’s doubts were all but erased; if the low whistle Sans gave when he approached was any indication, he thoroughly approved of Fell’s ‘neat casual’ attire. “damn, looking good there edgy. gotta admit, as much as i love all the usual black, white is definitely your colour.”

Edge scoffed, looking away, but in truth he was feeling very flustered, heat rising to his cheekbones. He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling a little self-conscious, but slid into the booth beside Sans. “It’s nothing,” he said, shortly, still unable to look Sans in the eye. “Just something I pulled on.” He could feel Sans’ gaze on him, his scrutiny doing little to help Edge quell his embarrassment.

Sans chuckled, shrugging and throwing one of his stocky arms over Edge’s shoulders. Edge flinched slightly, tensing at the sudden contact. His soul pulsed in his chest, and he swallowed down the trickle of magic flowing into his mouth. If Sans noticed Edge’s apprehension though, he didn’t comment, simply giving him a broad grin, and saying, “nah, you, throwing something on last minute? somehow i doubt that, edgy.”

Edge blushed harder, tugging on the end of his sleeve’s white cuff as he stared pointedly at the grungy wooden table. Sans’ arm was still around his shoulders, his fingers tapping idly on his collarbone, and Edge was trying very hard not to let himself believe it was anything more than friendly affection. “So, um, when are the others getting here?” he asked, eager to break some of the tension brought on by their mutual silence.

“oh, yeah.” Sans shrugged, reaching across the table and grabbing a chip from the almost empty bowl. “they cancelled.”

For a moment, Edge didn’t properly register Sans’ words, his casual tone not quite conveying the meaning behind his statement. But then it sunk in, and Edge suddenly pulled away from Sans, staring at him with wide eyes. “They—they cancelled?” he asked, panic seeping into his tone against his will. “But— _why?”_

Sans didn’t seem even vaguely bothered by the fact, simply giving another shrug and a shake of his head as he popped another chip into his mouth. “dunno, had better things to do i guess.”

Edge slumped back in the booth, feeling a prickle of anxiety in his soul, which seemed to be hammering against his ribcage. “O-oh. So, it’s just…?”

“just the two of us,” Sans said, shooting Edge another grin. “that’s not a problem, is it?”

Sans was regarding Edge with that piercing look again. The look that—despite his wide smile—seemed to carry so much weight. Edge found himself averting his gaze, afraid of what Sans might see beneath the stiff nod he gave. “No—no, of course it isn’t. It’s fine.”

Sans watched Edge for a moment longer, as if waiting for him to elaborate, then chuckled as he turned away. “heh. good.” He leaned back against the grubby cushions, shuffling a little closer to Edge, who tried not to tense as their arms brushed. “gee, kinda hot in this place don’t you think?” Sans said, glancing at Edge.

“I… I suppose,” Edge muttered, distractedly, his mind elsewhere. Such as on the fact that he was going to be spending an entire evening _alone_ with Sans. Or on the feeling of the smooth, but sturdy bones of Sans’ arm, just barely touching his own. Or the fact that Sans was stretching, pulling off his jacket… “W-what are you doing?” Edge asked, cringing at how alarmed he sounded.

“told you. i’m boiling. need to lose a few layers.” Sans merely grinned as he shucked the jacket off, dropping it beside him in a small heap. “heh, much better.” He looked up at Edge, cocking his head slightly. “wanna strip as well? it’s pretty liberating.”

Edge was stunned, having to remind himself to close his mouth as he gaped at Sans. _Surely_ he had to know what that sounded like. There was no way he’d said that without realising the implications. But his grin was as innocent as ever, so Edge could only shake his head rapidly, turning away to hide his blush. “N-no. I’m fine,” he mumbled, hugging himself slightly, and half wishing he could melt into the dingy floorboards to escape his own embarrassment. There was no chance Sans hadn’t noticed how heavily he was blushing. Edge almost wondered if losing a few layers wouldn’t be such a bad thing; his entire body felt like it was on fire.

“you know…” Sans said slowly, breaking the silence as he grabbed the last chip from the bowl, “you kinda remind me of someone.”

“Oh, really?” Edge said, still feeling a little too abashed to look at Sans. He was grateful for the sudden change in topic, more than eager to indulge Sans if it meant no more talk of ‘stripping’.

“hehe, yeah,” Sans said. “you look a lot like my boyfriend.”

This got Edge’s attention. His gaze snapped up, and he could feel an uncomfortable pit forming in his chest. “Y-your _boyfriend?”_ He could hear the bewilderment in his own voice, but he was too stunned to care. “Since when do you have a boyfriend? Who is he? How… how long have you been dating?” Edge suddenly realised he’d probably asked a few too many questions for someone who really shouldn’t be so invested in Sans’ dating life. He quickly looked away, fingers twisting a loose thread on his shirt. He knew it wasn’t any of his business, but he felt a little betrayed that Sans hadn’t told him sooner that he was seeing someone. The idea alone cast a dark cloud over his soul, and he knew the dejection must be showing on his face.

“how long?” Sans hummed thoughtfully, and began counting on his fingers. “huh, lemme see… if tonight goes well, then uh—one night.”

“What…?” Edge frowned in confusion, trying to figure out what had prompted the sudden blush that had risen to Sans’ cheeks, and the wide, expectant grin on his face, and the fact that he was suddenly looking a little anxious and— _oh._ “W-wait, you mean…?” Edge’s voice went small, becoming stuck. He was being presumptuous. Surely Sans wasn’t talking about him? Surely this wasn’t—

“heh, only if you want, sweetheart.” Sans’ sockets were lidded slightly, and he shifted across the cushions, placing a hand on Edge’s hip. “’cause uh, i’m only asking ‘cause i—well, i think you’re kinda cool and stuff, and i—”

“Sans. I need you to buy me a drink,” Edge declared loudly, cutting him off abruptly. Sans paused, blinking.

“uh… why?”

“So that I can kiss you without feeling… e-embarrassed.” Edge’s sudden burst of confidence seemed to fizzle out, and he suddenly couldn’t look Sans in the eye anymore. He tried to turn away, but then Sans’ hand was on his jaw, cupping his face gently.

“nothing to be embarrassed about, love,” he murmured, his mouth inches away from Edge’s. He paused, warm breaths ghosting against Edge’s face as he looked up to meet his eye. “this alright?”

Edge nodded quickly, no longer able to dispel the magic flooding his mouth. “Y-yes. Sans… please kiss me.”

Sans didn’t need telling twice. With a grin, he pressed forward, their teeth connecting softly. For a brief moment, Edge went rigid, a sliver of doubt creeping into him. But Sans was persistent. He climbed up onto the cushions of the booth, kneeling against Edge, their mouths never parting. He looped an arm around Edge’s back, pulling him close so that Edge could feel the erratic magic burning through Sans’ bones.

The knowledge that Sans wanted this just as much as he did seemed to dissipate any lingering worries in his mind. He delved deeper, pressing his tongue against Sans’ teeth, which immediately parted, allowing their magic to mingle together. Tasting Sans’ magic for the first time sent a surge of excitement through Edge, and he wrapped a hand around the back of Sans’ skull, drawing him in and deepening the kiss. He could almost feel Sans grinning against him as he tangled a hand in Edge’s shirt, fingers grazing lightly over his ribs.

When they finally parted, Edge didn’t let go, his hands still clutched onto Sans, who was panting slightly, his normally dim eye-lights sparkling. “heh, so, uh… how was that?” he asked, looking a little sheepish.

Edge swallowed for a moment, still not releasing Sans. The blush on his cheekbones was no longer derived from embarrassment, but rather, a wild excitement—an eagerness to pursue this, and see where it might take him. At last he smiled, pressing his teeth lightly to Sans’ again, earning a surprised chuckle from the other skeleton. When he drew away, he nodded, running his thumb over the corner of Sans’ mouth. “Well,” he said, blushing slightly as Sans’ fingers began tracing over his spine, “I think your new boyfriend is very lucky.”


	14. A little overwhelming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: "can you write something with cheapbourbons ot4 papcest ship? Number 8? For the writing prompt thing? It would be cool to see written in your style! Thanks."
> 
> Prompt: “If keeping my sanity was my goal, then I made a very poor choice coming here with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Expensivespicyhoneydog (FS Papyrus/UF Papyrus/US Papyrus/SF Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: Fluff, drinking, lots of Papyrus (all my favourite things)
> 
> Warnings: The Edgelord doesn't know what to do with all his boyfriends

Edge dropped back onto the plush seats of the nightclub’s VIP sofas, exhaustion already wearing on his mind. The cushions shifted as his boyfriend sat down beside him, slinging an arm over Edge’s shoulders. “sorry, love,” Slim murmured, pressing his teeth against Edge’s cheekbone. “am i driving you a little insane?”

Edge released a tired laugh, shaking his head as he leaned into Slim. “Well, if keeping my sanity was my goal, then I made a very poor choice coming here with you.” Slim grinned, cupping Edge’s face and kissing him softly. Edge sighed, feeling some of the tension seeping from his bones. “Still,” he said, as Slim drew away, “I suppose I should count myself lucky—you are the most tolerable of my boyfriends.”

A sheepish grin crossed Slim’s features and he chuckled awkwardly, amber rising to his cheekbones. “well, uh, it’s funny you should say that actually…”

Edge’s gaze snapped up immediately, and he pinned Slim with a frown. “What did you do, Slim?”

Slim shook his head, drawing himself into his jacket slightly and pulling up his hood. He had a habit of becoming a little reserved when Edge raised his voice too much—something the typically loud skeleton was working on. But despite his demure nature, Slim was still smirking slightly, and Edge narrowed his eye sockets in suspicion. “who do you think got us into this place?” Slim murmured softly, releasing a small laugh at the utter horror that must have crossed Edge’s features.

As if on cue, a set of bony hands covered Edge’s eye sockets, a rough voice whispering against his skull, “guess who, sweetheart?”

Prying the hands off, Edge spun around, scowling at the intruder. Cash grinned, leaning forward and taking a hold of Edge’s skull. “What the fuck are you doing here, asshole?” Edge grumbled. He didn’t protest however when Cash lightly pressed their teeth together, although Edge made the mistake of allowing him to deepen the kiss. Cash tended to get a little… enthusiastic if given too much leeway.

“ugh, get a room you two.” Cash pulled away, smirking over Edge’s shoulder. Edge turned, his soul clenching as he saw Stretch striding towards them, hands in his pockets, and… a cigarette between his fingers. Naturally.

“oh, we will,” Cash said, winking. “and yer more than welcome to join us, love.” Stretch grinned, dropping between Edge and Slim, who observed the other three silently, amusement sparkling in his eyes. Edge shot Slim a glare, despite knowing full he wouldn’t have been able to stop the other two from invading their private moment if he’d wanted to. Cash swung over the back of the sofa, seating himself beside Edge and leaning over to frown at Stretch. “so, how’d ya get in here, anyway? i know damn well i didn’ give ya a VIP pass, darlin’.”

Stretch tilted his head, offering Cash a sweet smile. “told them i was you.”

Slim snickered, pressing his sleeve over his mouth as irritation flicked across Cash’s features. He scoffed, withdrawing to lean against Edge. “please. there’s no way they bought that. yer not attractive enough to be me.”

Stretch held Cash’s gaze for a moment, a vindictive expression slowly making its way onto his face. “just for that—i’m not fucking you tonight.”

Cash sneered, but Edge could see the flicker of disappointment beneath the expression. “whatever, edgy’s better in bed than you anyway.” He turned to Edge, smoothing his pointed fingers over Edge’s vertebrae. “aren’t you, precious?~”

“Ugh, I’m better than all of you,” Edge muttered, shoving Cash away. There was a wild look in Cash’s eyes that only emerged when he was truly excited about something. His gaze darted over the other three skeletons, and he smiled with actual sincerity—a look one seldom got to see on his face.

“hey. ’s been too long since we’ve all been t’gether,” he said, eyes flashing ecstatically.

“There’s a reason for that,” Edge mumbled, trying to push back the impending headache.

Beside him, Stretch released a small laugh, nuzzling against Edge’s shoulder. “you need to loosen up, edgelord. or we might start to think you don’t want us here.”

Edge looked up, meeting Stretch’s gaze. Though his tone was light, Edge knew he often passed off his deeper insecurities as humour. Sighing, Edge shook his head. “You know I love you all. You can just be a little…”

“insatiable?” Slim suggested, taking a quick sip of his drink, his expression conveying nothing but innocence as he observed Edge with a smile, amber eyes glinting.

_“Overwhelming,”_ Edge corrected, trying to ignore Cash and Stretch’s quiet snickers. He sighed, leaning back and letting his eyes fall closed. He’d come here anticipating only having to entertain Slim—which was quite enough for him. But here he was, all three of his boyfriends on his hands for the evening—and as much as Edge loved them, he wasn’t sure how long his sanity would hold out.

Seeming to sense the stresses warring at his mind, Stretch leaned against him, withdrawing his pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his dirty hoodie. Edge glanced at them in mild disgust before scowling and turning away. “No, thank you,” he said, dryly.

Stretch chuckled, extracting one anyway. “hey, come on, it’ll take the edge off…” Edge rolled his eyes as Stretch failed to stifle a snicker. “ah, sorry, but—you know. it’ll help.” Edge remained unimpressed by Stretch’s offer, folding his arms resolutely.

Cash however, didn’t share his qualms about smoking, and reached over, taking the cigarette from Stretch. “well, if he won’t, i will,” he said, grinning as he pulled out his lighter.

Feeling his patience ticking away, Edge growled, snatching the box from Stretch. “Fine— _fine._ I’ll have _one_ of your stars damned sticks of death. Just… be quiet for the next ten minutes.” He turned a pointed glare on Cash, who shrugged, feigning innocence.

Stretch offered him a light, smirking slightly, to which Edge responded with little more than a roll of his eyes. He didn’t quite have the energy for an argument anyway. Taking a long drag from the cigarette, Edge allowed the smoke to curl within his ribcage, and immediately felt the relaxing effects taking over. He wasn’t quite sure what went into Stretch’s cigarettes, and quite frankly, he was a little afraid to ask. As always though, the results were phenomenal, a wave of calm spreading from his soul outwards.

He barely flinched this time when Cash leaned against him, resting his head on Edge’s shoulder. “y’know…” he murmured, eyes closed as he shuffled to press himself against Edge, smoke streaming from his parted teeth, “you can be pretty cuddly when ya wanna be, edge. i like it.”

For once, Edge didn’t bother trying to come up with a witty retort, instead nodding wordlessly, soul warming as Cash curled up against him, head on his lap and arms wrapped around his waist. Cash had never been one for conventional sleeping positions.

On his left, Edge caught sight of Slim burying his head in Stretch’s chest, the latter chuckling quietly and smoothing his hands over Slim’s skull. Affection blossoming within him, Edge leaned over, touching his teeth lightly against Stretch’s. A smile crossed Stretch’s face, and he rested his head on Edge’s shoulder, breathing deeply. “you’re too good to us, edge,” he mumbled, his voice already heavy with sleep.

Edge released a quiet laugh, shaking his head as he pressed a light kiss to the top of Stretch’s skull. “You deserve it,” he whispered, allowing himself to smile as he felt Slim lacing their fingers together, watching him quietly from where he was still pressed against Stretch. Edge gave his hand a small squeeze, and wrapped an arm around Cash, drawing him closer. “All of you,” he said, softly, his eyes finally drifting closed as he succumbed to sleep. “You’re worth every second.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely related to Edge in this situation. I don't know how to handle so many Papyri, so I just... cuddle them and tell them I love them.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> (((And hurt them.)))


	15. Mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ladylupin asked: "1. 'If I can’t have you, no one can.' For Edgeberry!! Congrats on the milestone, Alice! You’re an incredible writer!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Edgeberry (UF Papyrus/US Sans)
> 
> Tags: Mild fluff (this starts off fairly sweet but this is mostly just a thinly veiled yandere drabble)
> 
> Warnings: Unhealthy relationship, possessive behaviour, emotional manipulation, coerced social isolation

_Blue turned the knife over in his hand, the silver blade concealed behind his back as he smiled sweetly, examining Edge, who was kneeling before him. ‘So, have you come to a decision?’_

_Edge nodded, his head remaining bowed. ‘I have.’_

_‘And?’ Blue stepped forward, delicately hooking two fingers beneath Edge’s chin and tilting his face upward. ‘Will you be joining me? Or are you my enemy?’_

_Edge was silent, the seconds ticking by as Blue awaited his answer. Eventually, he looked up, holding Blue’s gaze steadily. ‘I will not be joining you, Captain.’_

_Blue remained motionless for a moment, watching Edge as he searched for any sign of uncertainty, despite knowing he wouldn’t find any. Finally, he nodded, drawing away. ‘I see,’ he said, humming his acknowledgement and pushing down the flicker of rage within him. ‘So you are my enemy then. Such a pity.’ Edge’s eyes went wide as Blue revealed the knife, not hesitating as he sliced it across Edge’s throat. He leaned in as Edge collapsed, a sick smile twisting across his face. ‘Because if I can’t have you, no one can.’_

“Blue, you bastard!” Edge cried, shoving Blue off the sofa as the cutscene ended and his screen displayed the game over text. “You promised you wouldn’t kill me if I changed teams!”

Blue giggled, scrambling back onto the sofa as Edge glared at him. “Well, you promised you wouldn’t betray me! Fair is fair, Edge!” The taller skeleton mumbled something unsavoury under his breath, and Blue frowned. “Hey! There will be no cursing in my living room. Even for losers!” He grinned as Edge pinned him with a cold stare, before rolling his eyes and rising from the sofa.

“Fine,” he said, looking resolute. “I suppose we’d better go to your bedroom, then. I’m allowed to curse there, right?” Blue felt his cheekbones heating, and he glared as Edge smirked at him.

Still, he wasn’t about to let his victory be tainted by Edge’s callous flirting, and he puffed himself up, standing and meeting Edge’s gaze. “Very well! I’m certain we can find another game to play.” Blue only realised the implications of his words after they’d left his mouth, and if the crimson blush that spread across Edge’s face was any indication, he’d heard it too. While Blue was a little embarrassed by his slip, he always enjoyed seeing Edge blush. He quickly cleared his throat, shaking his head with a laugh. “Well, what I meant was—we could play chess. Or…”

“Oh—there’s no need to worry yourself, Blue,” Edge said, quickly, smiling despite the magic that still coloured his cheekbones. “I’m meeting Razz to discuss some…” he grimaced, “business matters, so I should probably get going.”

Blue tried not to let the dejection show on his face. A sick twist of jealousy formed in his soul, and he swallowed, trying his best to force a smile. “Oh. Of course.” Even to himself, his words sounded stiff. He shook his head, laughing in a way that didn’t sound anywhere near light-hearted. “I mean—you did only just get here, but that’s fine.” Blue glanced away from Edge, gritting his teeth slightly against the anger boiling within him. Blue hated it when Edge went back to his awful world—and visiting someone as abhorrent as Razz was almost twice as bad. An even darker part of Blue feared that Edge preferred the company of that awful copy of him, but he did his best to push the thought down, reassuring himself that Edge had better taste than that.

He caught sight of the flicker of guilt on Edge’s face, and the beginnings of uncertainty crossing his features. “I’m sorry, Blue. I…” He looked uncomfortable, scratching his shoulder as he glanced at the door.

Blue could tell he was starting to question himself, and he smiled sweetly, shaking his head. “It’s no bother, Edge! You _are_ my best friend, but that doesn’t mean we can’t spend time apart. Go, if it’s what you really want.” Blue held Edge’s gaze, observing the exact moment that his resolve seemed to cave.

He sighed, shaking his head and smiling at Blue. “No, it’s alright. I did only just get here—I can just reschedule. I’ll stay.”

Blue’s soul fluttered in his chest, and he grinned, feeling triumphant. Before Edge could react, Blue was throwing his arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. “Oh, Edge, thank you! I promise to make our time together worthwhile.” He looked up at a slightly startled Edge, giggling at the pale crimson blush on his cheeks. “Now,” he said, taking Edge’s hand and guiding him towards the stairs, “how about we go upstairs and play a game?” Blue knew full well that his words alone would be enough to make Edge blush—and he took every opportunity to use it to his advantage. He enjoyed seeing the normally rigid skeleton thrown slightly off guard, especially if it meant Blue got to see him looking so flustered.

Edge gave a small laugh, Blue’s soul leaping at the sound. Still blushing, Edge said, “Alright, Blue. Let’s see if I feel like letting you win again.”

Blue shot Edge a glare over his shoulder as he led him to his bedroom. “You and I both know I earned my victory! It’s not my fault you were foolish enough to betray me!” Blue couldn’t deny, a small part of him had been hurt by the fact that Edge had chosen not to remain on his team—despite the fact that it was only a silly video game. If Edge noticed the veiled hint of grudging in Blue’s tone however, he didn’t comment, only giving another soft chuckle, and regarding Blue with something akin to endearment. The look made Blue’s soul warm a little, and he smiled to himself, feeling assured that Edge had simply turned against Blue for the sake of the game.

As Blue scrambled through the various puzzles in his desk drawer in search of his chessboard, Edge sat on his bed, glancing around the room curiously. “Your room is in pristine condition, Blue,” he commented. “It’s rather refreshing being in the presence of a Sans who isn’t happy to live in his own squalor.”

Blue preened, a faint dusting of cyan colouring his cheeks. “Well, of course it is!” he said, beaming. “I always look after the things I care about.” He met Edge with a pointed look, but the taller skeleton only frowned in mild confusion. Blue shook his head, releasing a small laugh as he extracted his chessboard. “Anyway, let’s play. So I can defeat you again!”

He grinned, plopping down beside Edge on the bed and laying out the chessboard and pieces. Before long, they were both deeply enthralled by the intense match. A lot of concentration always went into their games, and Blue found it refreshing playing chess against someone other than his brother for a change. As much as he loved Stretch, he had an awful tendency to allow Blue to win simply out of fear of upsetting him.

Blue couldn’t help but admire the enraptured expression Edge always wore when he was concentrating. He liked this, when it was just the two of them. He loved having Edge’s undivided attention—and even more than that, he loved to have Edge close by. It always pained him to see Edge go back to his own barbaric world, always leaving Blue with the unsettling fear that he might never see him again. But right now, in Blue’s presence, Edge was safe, and Blue relished in that fact.

Their game passed without event for about ten minutes or so, until Edge broke the silence by saying, “So, I, uh… have a date tonight.”

Blue’s gaze shot up from the board, a wild fury igniting in his soul. Edge was looking sheepish, blushing again. But this time, Blue felt no sense of affection at the sight, only a cold anger and betrayal deep in his soul. He tried to push it back, smoothing over his features into a wide, but very forced, smile. “Oh. How nice.” Blue could hear the stiffness of his own voice, but considering the almost overwhelming urge to lash out he was experiencing, he considered it a victory.

Edge shrugged half-heartedly, eyes still fixed on the board. “I suppose.”

Blue narrowed his eye sockets slightly. Edge didn’t sound particularly enthused at the prospect of his date. That was… promising. Forcing his most saccharine smile back onto his face, Blue tilted his head inquisitively. “Who is it? Surely no one could possibly be great enough to meet your standards!”

A weak smile crossed Edge’s features, and he shook his head, still not looking up. “It’s no one really, just someone I met up in the Capital.”

Blue’s smile faltered slightly, and his soul lurched uncomfortably. “The Capital in… your world?” Edge nodded wordlessly, his attention still on the chessboard. But by now, Blue had all but forgotten the game, a foul jealousy resurfacing within him. “Edge, are you certain you don’t want to just cancel it?” Edge finally looked up, cocking a brow bone in dubiety. Blue quickly shook his head, laughing dryly. “Well, of course it’s your decision, but I’m only telling you this because I care about you. I just—I don’t want to see you get hurt.” _I don’t want you to leave me,_ Blue wished he could say.

“Don’t worry about me, Blue,” Edge said, smiling reassuringly. “I can take care of myself, you know that.”

But Blue felt anything but convinced, frowning up at Edge. He was beginning to feel frustrated. Why wasn’t Edge listening to him? Couldn’t he tell that Blue was only trying to protect him? “I only want what’s best for you,” Blue said, his voice strained. “I hate seeing you go back to that—to that _vile_ place you call home. I—I just want to keep you safe.” Blue could feel his control and patience beginning to dwindle. Even as Edge placed a gentle hand on Blue’s arm, meeting his gaze with sympathy, he could feel the cruel twist of malcontent in his chest.

“It’s alright, Blue,” Edge soothed, looking slightly troubled by the expression on Blue’s face. “I know that you do. I understand what it’s like, but—”

“No, you don’t understand!” Blue cried, finally snapping. “You don’t know what it’s like watching your best friend abandon you day after day! You don’t know what it’s like feeling as if the world is trying to steal him away from you!”

Edge looked stunned, flinching slightly as Blue watched him, furious tears building in his eye sockets. “Blue, I—I’m sorry, I never realised—”

“I’m so sick of feeling like you don’t care about me!” Blue could no longer control the tirade of frustration he was letting out—finally speaking the words he never thought he’d dare utter. “I—I don’t want anyone else to have you. _I_ want you. I want you to be _mine!_ I want you to—” Suddenly, Blue broke off, realising he’d said too much. Edge was looking alarmed, something almost fearful crossing his face. Blue felt panic rising within him, and he quivered, allowing the tears to flow freely down his face. “Oh, Edge I—I’m so sorry!” he whimpered, shaking his head. “I—I don’t know what came over me, I’m sorry. Oh, stars, I shouldn’t have—”

“Blue, stop, it’s…” Edge hesitantly reached out, and Blue could see his hands shaking slightly. “It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s fine—I’m right here with you.”

Blue watched Edge for only a moment before pressing forward, burying his face in Edge’s chest. He clung tightly onto Edge, as if he might be snatched away at any moment. Blue _needed_ this. He needed Edge. He needed to feel his presence. It felt right. And Blue never wanted to let go.


	16. Mutual Dependence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicedragons asked: "So, about halfway through writing these "drabbles", I noticed the severe lack of Slim--I only received two requests involving him, both for poly relationships. I honestly loved all the ships I got, but god damn, this boy needs some extra love, so here I am, requesting it of myself. So, Alice, can I get some uuhhh, platonic Swapfell bros with prompt 35? And maybe throw in some angst, you really don't write enough of it."
> 
> Yes. I requested this of myself.
> 
> Prompt: "I did all of this for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Platonic Swapfell bros (so, not really a ship)
> 
> Tags: Angst, emotional hurt no comfort
> 
> Warnings: feelings of inadequacy, intrusive thoughts, emotional abuse, unhealthy relationship
> 
> This one is pretty dark, guys. Feel free to skip it if you find emotional abuse triggering, because this chapter is full of it.

Slim’s fingers trembled slightly as he fumbled with the key, barely remaining steady for long enough to slip it into the lock. He knew his brother would be back by now, and Slim only dared imagine what his punishment might be for arriving home this late. He pushed open the front door slowly, trying not to make a sound as he crept across the living room towards the stairs.

He’d barely placed his foot on the bottom step when he heard a sigh from somewhere behind him. He turned, glimpsing his brother’s violet eye-lights near the sofa through the dark room. He immediately went rigid, shoulders slumping slightly as he ducked his head. He caught sight of the flicker of irritation in Razz’s eyes, his expression bland as he regarded Slim. “Dog. Come, sit. We’re going to talk.”

Slim flinched slightly at the name. Razz seldom used it anymore unless they were in the company of others—or when he was truly furious. The uncanny levelness of his voice was equally disconcerting. Slim had grown to prefer when his brother yelled at him to when he used that unnaturally calm tone.

Knowing better than to protest, he cautiously approached, feeling himself shrink beneath his brother’s harsh gaze. He sat beside him on the sofa, keeping his gaze averted. Silence hung heavily between them for a few moments, and Slim didn’t dare break it. If Razz had something to say, he would say it in his own time, and Slim knew better than to speak out of turn. Eventually, Razz leaned back, knuckles cracking as he flexed them. “Let me guess. You were with those weak versions of us you like to call your friends?”

Slim went still, before nodding slowly, keeping his head ducked, and his gaze fixed on the carpet. Razz scoffed, shaking his head. “Pathetic.” He fell silent once more, and Slim could feel his piercing gaze boring into him. He yearned to reach into his jacket for his small pocket knife—but that could wait until later. For now, he opted to dig his fingers into his femurs to stop them from shaking.

A subtle glance at his brother told him that it had been a long work day for Razz… again. Fresh cuts and dents littered his arms, and while Slim knew they would likely heal with time, there was no denying they were causing his brother pain. Razz always projected his physical pain verbally, behaving a lot more sharply towards Slim. Perhaps Slim may have gotten away with arriving home so late on a normal day—but recently, Razz had been scheduling more and more formal visits with the Queen, and Slim knew better than to doubt her cruelty.

“So,” Razz said at last, breaking the cold silence between them, “dare I venture a guess as to why you didn’t bother to tell me where you were? Or perhaps you were hoping I wouldn’t find out?”

Razz tapped his fingers impatiently on the arm of the sofa as Slim struggled to find his words, his voice caught in his throat. “i w… wasn’t…” The words came out strained, barely audible, even in the dead quiet of their house.

Razz sighed in frustration. “Speak up, mutt,” he snapped. “I don’t have time to waste on your pathetic mumbling.”

Slim nodded quickly, dipping his head lower as shame seemed to crush him. “s-sorry,” he whispered, scratching at the coarse fabric of the couch. “i wasn’t… wasn’t t-trying to…” He swallowed, breathing heavily as he tried to gather his resolve. “i wouldn’t lie to… to you, my lor—c-captain.” Slim pulled his jacket tighter around his shoulders, still not daring to meet Razz’s gaze. He knew Razz hated it when Slim got his title wrong—especially since Razz was still trying to prove that he was worthy of it. More than once, the Queen had threatened to demote him because of ‘incompetence’.

Fortunately this time, Razz was either too tired, or too preoccupied with more important things to scold Slim for slipping up. “Well?” he said, impatience seeping into his tone. “Why didn’t you tell me, then? Need I remind you, mutt, omission is a form of lying—and I do _not_ have the time to deal with your deception on top of the deception of every other monster in this forsaken place.”

Slim hurriedly nodded, scrambling to find his words. “o-of course, captain. i d-didn’t mean—i didn’t… i’m sorry. you were just… just s-so busy—i didn’t want to disturb you…” Slim’s words trailed off into quiet muttering, and he wrapped his arms around himself, bracing himself for his brother’s wrath.

But to his surprise, Razz was silent. A brief glance at him revealed that he wasn’t even looking at Slim, his gaze fixed on the dim room in front of him, appearing contemplative. Slim ducked his head, wishing for nothing more than to retreat to his room, where he could be alone, and not have to _think._ About how pathetic he was. How useless. About how much of a burden he was to his brother. His fingers twitched toward the small knife in his pocket, but he clenched them into a fist, pushing down the urge.

When Razz finally spoke again, Slim flinched, almost startled by the sound. “Yes. I was busy.” Slim caught sight of him turning, fixing his gaze on Slim. “Busy filling out my reports. Busy running errands for the Queen. Busy gathering as much information as I could on the whereabouts of that barbaric lizard and her fish bitch. Busy reinforcing the defences on our house. Look at me, dog.”

For a moment, Slim was still, frozen out of fear of what he might see if he met his brother’s gaze. But he couldn’t disobey a direct order, especially not when Razz was so clearly straying near the edge. The precipice he barely kept clear of most of the time, his LOVE always sparking at the smallest of triggers. Slim turned slowly, keeping his gaze averted. “I said _look at me,”_ Razz hissed, hand suddenly gripping firmly onto Slim’s jaw, tilting his face upward. Slim could feel himself shaking. While Razz’s hold wasn’t painful, it was full of malicious intent, and Slim could tell he was struggling to hold himself together. “Who do you think I do those things for, mutt?” Razz asked, his tone dropping, but losing none of its sharpness.

“captain…” Slim murmured, barely managing to choke the word out. He took a few quick breaths, trying to steady his shaking hands and his racing soul. “i know your… your love for our queen is… u-unrivalled.”

Razz released a dry laugh, releasing Slim’s jaw harshly. “Oh, you poor, pathetic dog. You’ve been taking my necessary grovelling too seriously.” Slim couldn’t risk looking away from Razz now, but he wished more than anything that he could. There was an empty look in his brother’s eyes, exhaustion set so heavily in his features. “I wouldn’t lift a finger for that vile excuse of a ruler if I didn’t have to. Do you really think I spend day after day, bleeding myself dry for that bitch?” Razz spat the word slightly, and Slim flinched, shaking his head.

“i—i don’t… no, captain.”

Razz scoffed, folding his arms. “You really have no idea, do you? Well. Let me spell it out for you, since you’re clearly too stupid to comprehend _anything.”_ Slim cowered as Razz leaned in, refusing to allow Slim to avert his gaze, his cold eye-lights harsh and piercing. “I do it, for _you._ All of this—” Razz indicated vaguely at their surroundings “—I did it all, for you, little puppy.”

Slim couldn’t help it. He released a strained sob, the beginnings of tears threatening his eye sockets. He wasn’t sure if it was the nickname—which had once possessed so much affection—or simply the confession itself, but he could feel himself breaking. Predictably, Razz did not take his weakness lightly, sneering as Slim shakily wiped at the tears, which now fell freely. “Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. You can’t even hold yourself together for five damn minutes.”

Razz lifted himself from his seat, brushing himself off smoothly as he observed his brother with mild disgust. “You need me, dog. I’m the only thing standing between you and the hundreds of monsters who would gladly eat you alive or dust you for what little EXP you’re worth.”

Slim hugged himself tightly, as if he might somehow be able to keep himself stable if he did so. As if he might be able to stop himself from falling to pieces in front of his brother. But he felt empty. Weak. Useless—so _useless._ Almost without his consent, his fingers curled around the blade in his pocket, wincing as its sharp edge dug into the bone.

If Razz noticed his distressed whimper of pain, he didn’t show it. Turning towards the stairs, he muttered, “Go back to those friends of yours if you must. They certainly deserve you a lot more than I do.”


	17. Sleeping with the enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: "hope im not too late to request for the 100 follower drabble! congrats btw!! if not can i request 24 with spicyhoney? ; )"
> 
> Prompt: "Ah. There seems to be only one bed…"
> 
> This one could be interpreted as a prequel to chapter 2, as it's another vampire AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship: Spicyhoney (UF Papyrus/US Papyrus)
> 
> Tags: Vampire AU, teasing, Stretch is a massive flirt, tsundere Edge
> 
> Warnings: Brief description of violence

“ouch, edgelord! mind going easy on the ropes? i thought we were friends.”

Edge turned to give Stretch a cold stare. “We’re _not_ friends. You’re the farthest thing from a friend I could imagine.” Edge injected as much venom into his words as he could, yet somehow, it wasn’t enough to wipe the humour from Stretch’s face.

The vampire shrugged, flashing Edge a sharp-toothed grin. “could’ve fooled me. although i guess you tying me up with silver laced rope and hauling me to a creepy motel in the middle of the night is a little too kinky for a friendship. i’m more like your…” Stretch smirked, leaning in slightly, “paramour.”

“Ugh.” Disgusted, Edge dragged Stretch towards the dim light of the building. “Come on.” He truly wished he’d chosen a less snarky vampire to take as his hostage in the middle of the night—honestly, he’d take murderous over impudent any day.

As they reached the entrance to the motel, Edge slipped a small silver knife out of his pocket, pressing it against Stretch’s ribs. The vampire released a sharp hiss, but otherwise, his grin remained plastered across his face. “maybe we should save this kind of behaviour for the bedroom?” he murmured, eye-lights flashing.

Edge held his breath for a moment, biting back the snappish response. Instead, he lowered his voice, ensuring the threat was apparent. “If you try to escape, or give any indication to anyone we encounter that you are my hostage—this goes directly in your chest, am I understood?”

Stretch held his gaze for a moment, his wily smile sending chills down Edge’s spine. Finally though, he nodded. “understood.” Edge breathed a small, internal sigh of relief, though part of him still feared resistance on Stretch’s part. One of the things that constantly threw him off about the vampire, was his apparent lack of fear when it came to threats, and Edge was neither subtle nor reserved when he threw them around.

“Good,” he said, stiffly. “Don’t leave my side.”

Stretch smirked, lifting his bound wrists with a raised brow bone. “can’t.”

Edge glanced away, sighing. “Right. Follow me, then… and keep your hands hidden.” He pushed open the door, and they approached the front desk where a tired looking night clerk was slumped over in their chair. “Good evening,” Edge greeted. “We—”

“room for two,” Stretch interrupted, leaning against the countertop. The clerk glanced between them dubiously, and then—to Edge’s utter shock—Stretch pressed closer to him, resting his head on Edge’s shoulder. “please?” His tone was almost sickly sweet, but Edge was too stunned to move, going completely rigid.

The clerk however, merely shrugged, seeming only half awake as they pulled open a drawer with various sets of keys. “Room number seventy,” they said, barely stifling a yawn. “Check-out is at ten.”

“oh, we’ll be staying until tomorrow evening,” Stretch said, that saccharine smile still colouring his features. “we’re more than happy to pay for the extra night, right love?” He nudged Edge, cocking a brow bone.

Edge barely managed to rouse himself into giving a stiff nod. “Right,” he muttered. He still felt thoroughly shaken, the knife in his hand trembling slightly where it grazed the fabric of Stretch’s hoodie. He could almost sense the proximity of the vampire’s teeth to his neck, and had to suppress a shudder.

Edge withheld his anger until they reached the empty corridor beyond the lobby, where he forcefully slammed Stretch against one of the walls. Stretch gasped sharply as Edge nudged the tip of the knife against his cervical vertebrae, not caring that he drew a thin trickle of marrow. “What the hell was that?” Edge growled, malice dripping from his voice.

For once, Stretch seemed taken off guard, which immensely satisfied Edge. “just making it more believable—” he choked against the harsh press of the blade. “geez, asshole, calm down. you think they would’ve given two shady guys a room in the middle of the night unless they thought we were fucking? thought i was doing you a favour.”

“A favour?” Edge spat, incredulous. “You booked us in for an extra day! We need to leave in the _morning._ I won’t be sticking around long enough for you to fucking murder me!”

“stars, edge.” Stretch’s tone was more exasperated than afraid, which only fuelled Edge’s outrage. “we can’t leave in the morning. sunlight doesn’t exactly agree with me, remember?”

Edge blinked for a moment, realising Stretch was right. Still, he felt hesitant removing the knife, and remained rigid as he yanked Stretch forward by his hoodie. _“Never_ do that again. You’re not the one in charge here, and I am _not_ your friend.” Finally releasing him, Edge narrowed his eye sockets, allowing the magic to flash in warning. “Know your place, vampire. Or next time, I’ll give you more than just a little scrape on the neck.”

Stretch looked like he was trying not to smile, which did nothing to help Edge dispel his rage. “heh. necks time?” Stretch muttered, amusement glinting in his eyes. Edge growled, gripping him roughly by the shirt and repositioning the knife against his chest. “okay, okay—shit, i’m sorry, i’ll shut up,” Stretch said quickly, lifting his bound hands in surrender.

“Make sure that you do,” Edge muttered, giving him a shove in the direction of their room. “Now hurry up, my patience has already run out.” Stretch almost looked as if he wanted to comment, but quickly seemed to think better of it.

When they reached room number seventy, Edge kept the knife out, but lowered it as he slipped the key into the lock. As soon as they entered the room, he felt his soul drop.

“ah, there seems to be only one bed,” Stretch remarked casually, striding past him.

Edge sighed heavily, closing and locking the door behind himself. “Well, of course there is. You made it seem like we were… lovers.”

Edge tried very hard to ignore the small smirk Stretch was giving him, instead pulling off his jacket and draping it over the worn armchair in the corner of the room. He did his best not to think about what the faded stains might be—they were on most of the linen in the room. “well, guess i’m sleeping on the floor then,” Stretch said, shrugging.

Edge turned, narrowing his eye sockets. “No you’re not. Not a chance.”

Stretch tilted his head slightly in question. “change of heart?”

Edge resisted the urge to give another roll of his eye-lights, scowling. “If you think I’m stupid enough to let you out of my sight, then—”

“oh, i see.” Stretch grinned, winking.

Edge shook his head, pinching his nasal ridge a little too hard, a small jolt of pain going through his skull. He could already feel the oncoming headache. “We’ll both sleep on the floor.”

“well, that’s awfully illogical,” Stretch scoffed, crossing his arms. “we may as well sleep outside and save ourselves a few bucks.” Edge was very tempted to remark that it wasn’t _their_ money, but figured he’d just be opening himself up to another tirade of teasing.

He was beginning to lose the energy for this argument, so releasing an exasperated sigh, he half spat, “Fine. We’ll share the damn bed.” Stretch grinned, opening his mouth to speak, but Edge cut him off. “But if you make another joke pertaining to our… _affiliation_ with one another in the bedroom, I will slice your throat in your sleep.” Stretch immediately snapped his mouth shut, but his smirk didn’t fade. Figuring it was the best he could hope for, Edge sighed wearily, pulling off his shoes and placing his small silver blade on the nightstand beside the bed.

Not ten minutes later, he and Stretch were lying side-by-side, the greatest possible distance between them (although Edge couldn’t ignore the way Stretch kept shuffling closer to the centre of the bed). Frowning at him for a moment, Edge reached over, undoing the bonds on his hands. Stretch glanced at him, sitting up, and Edge instantly went for the knife, holding it steadily before him in warning. Stretch rolled his eyes, slumping back onto the bed. “relax, edgelord, i’m not going anywhere.”

Edge swallowed, realising he’d probably overreacted. Still, he didn’t let go of the knife until he’d safely secured one of Stretch’s wrists to the headboard of the double bed. Stretch’s teeth were gritted, and at first Edge thought he might be in pain, but then he gave a groan of frustration. “stars—i can’t believe you banned bedroom jokes, you asshole.” He looked at Edge, seeming genuinely distraught by the fact. “i mean you _literally_ just tied me to the bed.”

Edge turned over, mumbling a cursory, “Goodnight,” before closing his eyes, and trying his best to find sleep. He soon found that he could hear Stretch’s breathing through the still silence, but rather than unsettling him, he found it oddly… calming. It almost allowed him to believe that Stretch was mortal, not some undead creature who had probably killed more people than Edge had met. Disregarding the thought, he tried to relax, knowing he’d need to get at least some sleep before the morning, or there was no chance he’d be able to handle Stretch for an entire day.

Just as he’d begun to drift off, he felt Stretch shifting beside him, turning over and rustling the covers. Growling under his breath, Edge muttered, “Do you mind? Some of us enjoy sleeping in peace.”

Stretch sighed, grumbling slightly. “sorry, edgy. sleeping at night doesn’t really agree with me. my magic’s a bit… restless. this feels kinda weird.”

“Weird?” Edge almost laughed, the situation a little too bizarre for him. “That doesn’t begin to describe it. I’m literally sleeping with my enemy.”

Edge could hear Stretch chuckling softly, the sound smooth, and oddly… nice. “thought we weren’t allowed to make those kinds of jokes? they back in?”

Sighing, Edge turned over, shaking his head. “Goodnight, Stretch.”

Stretch was silent again, for which Edge was grateful. Preferably, he’d like to pretend the vampire wasn’t there at all. The mere idea that he was in bed with him chilled Edge’s soul a little—but it stirred something else as well. Something Edge was very vehemently trying to ignore.

“hey, edge?”

_“What?”_ Edge growled, exasperated.

“thanks for not killing me.”

This took Edge off guard. He almost pointed out that capturing Stretch was far worse, given the things he could do with him, but in truth, he wasn’t entirely sure why he _hadn’t_ killed him. He’d never been one to spare Stretch’s kind—he had no interest in rewards, knowing full well that there were no honest buyers when it came to vampires.

So that begged the question—why had he shown Stretch mercy? Edge had been hunting him for a while now—perhaps more out of spite than anything. And Stretch was a difficult monster to find… Edge almost wondered if he’d _wanted_ to be found this time. Still, he should have seized the opportunity. Done away with him immediately, and spared the world from another creature of the night.

But… something had stopped him. It hadn’t felt right. As if he’d been missing something. Or as if he might have regretted going through with it. It made him feel uncomfortable, uncertain. Sparing Stretch went against his whole life’s purpose, yet he’d done it anyway. And somehow, it hadn’t felt wrong.

Edge stiffened, dismissing the train of thought. Instead, he closed his eyes once again, the sound of Stretch’s shallow breaths breaking the almost dead silence of the night. Sighing deeply, Edge conceded, murmuring a quiet, “You’re welcome,” before allowing himself to drift off, feeling comfortable despite being mere inches away from the monster he was struggling to convince himself he still hated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of my tumblr request drabbles! I'll update this if I ever have inspiration for random little nonsense one-shots (which I probably will). I hope you've enjoyed these! <3

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [@alicedragons](https://alicedragons.tumblr.com/) if you'd like to come say hi! (18+ only please)


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